Molded to Love
by Frostbreaker
Summary: They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what if all behold you see naught but a monster? Given the chance, can this conception change? Sometimes, it just takes one person to reach out...and help. Rated T for violence, use of alcohol, and suggestive sexual material.
1. Ch 1: Fall of a Queen

**A/N: Another new story here, people. This is on a character that is rarely given this genre, for reasons that are obvious to our less than accepting majority. It is something I am aiming to change now, and it starts with a challenge from a friend. As always, please R&R and let me know what you thought, and if you like it so far, be sure and say a mental thanks to my friend Alvaro for the idea.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters associated with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, nor the original story.**

* * *

Chapter 1: Fall of a Queen

Monster...

Usurper...

These and other horrendous words were used to describe me. From the outskirts of Ponyville, all the way to Canterlot...all knew of who I was, _what_ I was, and what I had done. Had I been decades younger, I might have complained that it wasn't fair, but that was nowhere near the case. All these words and more I deserved.

But I did not regret them...I reveled in them.

Who but I had infiltrated into the Celestial Palace itself, whose beloved princess was none the wiser? Who but I had overpowered her with sheer force of magic? Who but I could say that the mighty Celestia, Princess of the Sun, was helpless against my might? No pony, that's who. Being as radiant as she was, the loathsome princess had many enemies, but none that were as bold and powerful as I that could stand toe-to-toe with her...and win.

Twilight Sparkle.

I hadn't accounted for her. It was a grievous mistake on my part, and one that was my undoing. To think that such an unassuming young mare could see right through my tactics was frightening. I had grossly underestimated her and the power she represented. While she knew not who was impersonating her beloved foalsitter, she immediately saw that something was amiss.

From there, things fell apart.

After the failure of the attack on Canterlot, the Hive began to turn on me. First it was the soldiers, who would not heed orders, but then, even the lowly drones would no longer listen to my demands. Right under my nose, they had birthed and raised another queen...and they then left me stranded in the wilds of the Everfree Forest.

I was now a queen without a hive...useless.

Without the ability to feed off of the positive emotions of ponies, I was forced to embrace the food of my ancestors – meat. It was messy and vastly inefficient, but it was nourishment, and would sustain me for as long as I needed it to. Mighty manticores, hydra, and even ursa would fall before me, only to become my meals. With the amount of power I possessed, they were nothing to me.

And yet...

I was not satisfied. Merely surviving was not enough after a few years, and I began to grow restless. And so, I changed my form to that of a simple pony, and walked throughout Ponyville, sponging up whatever positive emotions I could come across. It was arduous and took months, but it was the only way to regain my power without arousing suspicion. After all, if there was one thing my race was good at, it was camouflage. For what I had planned, I couldn't afford to be recognized, and couldn't draw attention to myself.

My name was Chrysalis...but she is dead.

I would periodically change to one of three ponies, either an earth-pony, unicorn, or pegasus. As an earth-pony, I was known as Mosswalker, and lived in the Whitetail Wood. Mosswalker was simplistic in design, as she was my first attempt to blend in. A long dark green mane and tail matched against dark brown fur, giving me the appearance of a tree. The cutie mark was that of a river and her eyes were green as well.

Simple enough, and it would not draw attention.

As a unicorn, I expanded my horizons and became Starshine, a foreigner from Germaney. Her coat was of the brightest white, and a mane of both silver and gold. Not the most inconspicuous, but as a unicorn, style is everything apparently. Her cutie mark was that of a cluster of blue stars, more realistic than the laughable Twilight Sparkle's, with eyes of goldenrod.

Lastly was my favorite, the pegasus.

Flight has always been a simple pleasure of mine, as it was relaxing and much easier to do than walking, so as a flying pony, I went all out. I became Mist Ray, with a coat of mottled violet. The tail and mane were crystalline blue and violet, as she was from the Crystal Empire. The cutie mark was that of a cloud with rays of sunlight dancing through it. Her eyes were of bright cyan, and seemed to twinkle with specks of violet.

Three separate lives with one goal: retake the Hive.

This goal was nearly realized almost a year ago, only to fail miserably. So, we tried again, then a third time, then a fourth...a fifth...but nothing worked. No matter how much power I had gained, no matter how much I fought...the Hive simply did not want me anymore.

I began to question my purpose in the world.

As Mist Ray, I had come across employment at the weather factory of Cloudsdale – a city in the sky reserved for pegasi. At one point in my life, a job would have been beneath me, but now I had little choice. I had to have a place to live, and I had to keep up appearances. For what though, I did not know. After multiple failed attempts at retaking my rightful place as queen, I had given up. It just wasn't worth it anymore, and I was tired. I was tired of fighting for nothing to change...so I began living a "normal" pony's life.

* * *

Today was an unremarkable day, even with working aside Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty. She was part of the reason I lost the Hive, but I could no longer be angry at her. To harbor that much hate and resentment all the time, it was tiring and frankly, degrading. Though a changeling I may be, negative emotions are not the way of me.

"Mist!" shouted the familiar raspy voice beside me.

I looked up in time to plow into a darkened cloud, and it jolted me with lightning. I sighed and smoothed my spiky mane and tail down before exiting the thundercloud and looking to the weather manager. "Sorry about that, Rainbow Dash. I spaced."

The cyan pegasus chuckled and nodded. "I'll say. Something on your mind?"

I shook my head and smiled forcibly. "Nah, I'll be alright. Just personal stuff...you know, boring."

"Well don't let it distract you. You're the best lightning-wrangler we've got, and I can't afford to lose you." she responded with a pat on my side.

I smiled and pushed her away playfully. "Pssh, I'll be fine. A little jolt of lightning is nowhere near enough to take me down."

The mare nodded as she took to the sky again. "That's what I like to hear. Now come on, let's finish setting up the storm for Ponyville and we can call it a day. Sound good?"

"Sounds great. Let's do this." I responded jovially.

I was far with considering other ponies friends – especially the Elements of Harmony – but over the years, I had learned to tolerate them well enough. I could work with them, be around them, and even make small talk with them easily if need be, though I _did_ try and avoid it if possible. Because of this, my job as a pegasus was easy enough to do. Rainbow Dash preferred to leave me to my own devices most of the time, only making herself known when she had new orders for me or I was doing a job that required more than just one pony.

* * *

The day finished as normally and I waved goodbye to the cyan pegasus before heading home – a small cloud house I'd built using my own hooves. It was infinitely easier than designing a changeling soldier from the ground up, so it didn't take too long once I learned to manipulate clouds. It was a simple, unassuming abode – classy enough to fit Mist Ray's style, but not so extravagant as to arouse suspicion. As I entered the cloud home, I tossed the saddlebags on the table in the center of the room and sat down on a the cloud sofa, enjoying the feeling of the soft cloud caressing my weary hooves. Nowadays, I rarely used my "true" form, except to hunt and feed, so more often than not I looked just like any other pony. This was so as to blend in as much as possible, but also because most times I just didn't care anymore. The only advantages a changeling had over ponies was strength, stamina, and endurance. I wouldn't need any of those in the day-to-day life as Mist Ray or the others, so I rarely was Chrysalis anymore.

Starshine was to meet with Rarity, the Element of Generosity, in order to help set up a birthday party for a certain violet unicorn, so I showered before flying down to the ground. I then hid behind a tree and changed to the Starshine before stepping out from behind it, and trotting towards the town.

* * *

Starshine had met Rarity a little over a month ago, and the two were very much alike. Rarity's style was unique, as was her speech, and Starshine could not help but find herself interested about the mare. We spoke over some tea of a great many things, ranging from simple small talk, to her dreams of the future. We even spoke of..._that_ day. The day her and her friends defeated my Hive and banished us from Equestria...again. I found it strange that instead of hatred or even nervousness...I just didn't care. I had let go of who I once was, and had moved on completely...which was why I had no problem throwing a birthday party for who was once my greatest enemy.

I arrived at the Carousel Boutique a little over ten minutes later to find that the door was closed and the sign was changed to, "Sorry, we're closed." I rapped three times on the door and waited, and not a second later, the door was yanked open and I was pulled into the house as it shut behind me.

Gathered around the main room of what was both the white unicorn's workplace and home, I saw four more element bearers gathered – the only one _not_ there being the Element of Magic.

"Uh, Rarity? Who's this?" the orange earth-pony asked suspiciously.

The fashionista smiled and motioned to me. "This, my dear, is Starshine. She's from Germaney and is an acquaintance of mine."

"And y'all trust her enough to set up Twi's party?" the same earth-pony asked.

Rarity nodded with a smile. "I do. I promise, she will not disappoint. Now, let us get to business. We have a little over three hours before Twilight Sparkle gets back from Canterlot, so let us get started." She pointed to a pink earth-pony. "Pinkie Pie, I need you to handle the cake and other food."

"You can count on me, Rarity!" the pink mare said with a bright smile.

The white unicorn nodded and turned to Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow Dash, I need you to handle the décor. You have an eye for colors, so we need your expertise in blending different hues together in a way that will work. Take into account Twilight's coat, eye, and mane colors."

Mist Ray's manager nodded with a smile. "Consider it done!"

"Good." the unicorn responded before turning to the stetson-wearing pony. "Applejack dear, would you be so kind as to handle the drinks?"

"Ah gotcha, Rare." the mentioned pony responded with a smile.

"Lastly, Fluttershy." the diamond-flanked pony said. This caused a timid yellow-coated mare to poke her head out from behind Rainbow Dash. "Dear, we need you to handle the flowers for decoration, and the muffins. Oh, they are just to _die_ for!" The mentioned pegasus nodded mutely, causing Rarity to smile and nod in return. "Very good. I will oversee everything to make sure it all comes together properly. Now I wish to stress that we have plenty of time, so take your time, and let us get this done correctly for our friend."

I raised my hoof and asked, "Miss Belle? What would you have me do?"

The glamorous unicorn turned to me with a warm grin. "You are going to help me, dear. As I'm checking things, you're going to assist me in adding support wherever it's needed. If we all do our part, this party will be lovely." She then turned to all her friends. "Alright, all of you know what to do. Let us begin!"

* * *

The setup went fairly smoothly with only a few hiccups here or there, but Rarity and Starshine were more than ready to handle it. Finally, after a little under two hours, the party was fully prepared. All that needed to be done now was to wait for the guest of honor to arrive, so the six of us relaxed. Some spoke or joked, but I simply enjoyed the peace that ensued. Peace was still not something I was accustomed to, but I understood now why the solar princess took such measures to keep it in place.

Peace was wonderful.

It was part of the reason why Chrysalis had to remain in the past. She was an agent that would seek to dismantle that peace, at the cost of the happiness of innocent ponies. She was selfish, and deceitful, and so _angry_.

I hated her.

"Dear, what's on your mind?" asked a very elegant voice from beside me.

I looked up from my place on the soft grass to see the unicorn's blue eyes looking at me with concern. "N-nothing...I will be fine."

The alabaster unicorn shook her head with a smile. "There will be none of that nonsense, Starshine. I am your friend and-"

"What did you just say?" I asked in disbelief.

"That you are my friend and-" she explained...but I didn't catch the rest of it.

The Element of Generosity just referred to me as her friend – a term I had never thought would ever be associated between her and I...or any pony for that matter. After all, the queen of the changelings doesn't have "friends"...

But Starshine can.

Friendship was not something I had hoped for in my wildest dreams. After all, the ruler of the changelings has underlings and advisers, not friends...but then, I no longer _had_ to be that being. I could be any one of three ponies I chose, and all had the ability and freedom to befriend, and live a different life than I was originally given. It was at this moment I realized just how lonely I felt and had been all these years.

But now I had the opportunity to change that.

"Dear, are you listening?" asked Rarity's silky voice.

I shook my head to clear my mind and nodded slowly. "I-I am sorry...my mind was elsewhere." I then sighed and lowered my head a bit in shame. "I-it is just that, I have never had friends before."

It was the truth...the utter, unedited truth, and it took all gathered by surprise.

The pink one was the first to find her voice, although her statement started with a fierce gasp. "You've never had _any_ friends? _Ever_?"

I crouched on the ground in embarrassment and shook my head softly. "Never..."

"Well shoot sugarcube, that ain't right. But we can fix that." the orange one stated with a grin.

The usually timid yellow pegasus stepped forward with her eyes full of both concern and kindness. "Um, w-we'll be your friends. That is, if you want us to be."

For some reason, the gentle pegasus' words touched me in a way I'd never felt before, and I suddenly felt like crying. I didn't actually weep, but I nearly did. It was rather foalish in itself to feel such a way...but like many other things lately, I didn't care. I had seen the rise and fall of kingdoms, and had been there when Canterlot was first built all those years ago...yet this was the very first time I could call somepony "friend". I could no longer hold the tears in at this point.

"Darling, are you crying?" I heard Rarity's soft voice ask.

I sniffled through tears and looked the group over as sobs threatened to break free. "I-I am sorry, everypony...I just..."

I was interrupted by five pairs of hooves as they surrounded me in a group hug. Such an embrace was one of the things changelings and ponies shared, but for different reasons. For changelings, it was to conserve body heat and pass messages along. For ponies, it was a sign of affection and care...and I could feel it.

A long-since dormant force awoke within me – the need to feed on these positive emotions. Unlike normal however, I did not have to steal it. These emotions were given to me willingly...they were _for_ me, and so they did not have to be taken forcefully.

It is the first time I've ever been completely satisfied feeding off of emotions.

After the group embrace was over, none of them knew anything had happened. It wasn't forced, and I hadn't attacked them...their care and friendship was given willingly to me. Even with the new lives I had assumed, it was an entirely new concept for me...and one I would have to assimilate into the Mosswalker and Mist Ray's life in order to avoid suspicion. Neither one of them could afford to break down as Starshine had, or it would destroy my cover.

After a few more moments of talking, we all headed to what was to be the birthday party, and as per Pinkie Pie's instructions, hid to yell "surprise" when the violet unicorn entered Sugarcube Corner.

We didn't have to wait long, as the door was opened to reveal the birthday mare and her assistant dragon. As planned, they entered the darkened room and all of us jumped up yelling, "Surprise!"

The mare nearly jumped out of her pelt in fright and screamed, and I couldn't help but let loose a small laugh. After she had calmed down, the pink party pony grabbed her and began introducing her to all the guests, so I simply made my way to the punch bowl to get a drink. Even with me having to feed as I did, I would be dishonest to say that I didn't enjoy sweets. It was a racial weakness of changelings...we loved sweet things. It was something not very useful for us, and something I had tried to breed out in subsequent generations after my own, but to no avail.

Still, that just meant I was more than capable of enjoying the many sweet treats prepared.

"And this, is Starshine! She's new in town, and she's from Germaney." I heard a voice say to my side, and I turned to see Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle standing before me.

I bowed my head softly and smiled. "It is a pleasure, Miss Sparkle."

I was now under the intense scrutiny of those violet eyes, and I felt myself shrink as they stared at me. Finally, Twilight Sparkle said, "Pinkie Pie, would you mind excusing us? I want to get to know Starshine a little better. You go have fun."

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" the earth pony mare exclaimed before bouncing away into the crowd.

Twilight Sparkle then inclined her head towards the stairs. "Do you mind if I speak to you in private? There's something I want to ask you."

I was a little nervous, but nodded with a smile. "Of course."

"Good. Follow me, please." she said as she ascended the stairs.

* * *

The two of us arrived in a quiet room, which looked to be a bedroom. It was bright pink with a pink bed, pink carpet, and even a pink dresser. _'This must be Pinkie Pie's room.'_

"Now that we're alone..." I heard the other mare start just before a powerful magical force pinned me against a wall, my legs outstretched and my underbelly vulnerable. I looked in shock to see the unicorn's horn glowing with power and a fierce glare on her face. "Why are you here?"

I looked in confusion at her and responded, "I was asked by Rarity to help plan-"

"I know why you _said _you're here." she spat aggressively. "I want to know why you're _really_ here, Queen Chrysalis."

My eyes widened in shock and I felt as if my heart were about to leap out of my chest as fear overtook me. Still, I attempted one last time to save myself. "Chrysalis? What are you talking about?"

The mare placed her hooves on either side of me and looked at me eye-to-eye. She then pointed to her own eyes. "Look at my eyes. See anything out of the ordinary?" I was still afraid, but did as she ordered and scanned her eyes with my own. It only took a second to see a nearly imperceptible band of golden energy rimming the iris – so faint, a pony would _have_ to be as close as I was at that moment _and_ looking for it to see it. She must have seen my expression change again, because she continued. "Yes...those bands are all that shows of the power I've gained from Celestia herself. Part of my newfound power is the ability to see through any illusion, no matter how powerful. To every other pony, you look like a normal unicorn, but I can see the truth."

My mouth dropped open in utter shock. To think, the most powerful unicorn alive now had the ability to see me for what I really was, no matter where I may hide. With my illusion useless, I simply hung my head in defeat. "Fine...you caught me. Do what you will with me, I don't have reason to fight back." Even though my eyes were closed, I felt her hesitate. My unfathomably small amount of patience ran out, and I glared at the unicorn. "Kill me or set me free. I don't want to fight."

Her confusion was replaced with arrogance, and she held a smug grin as she responded, "What makes you think you _can_ fight me?"

Considering exactly how arrogant I'd been in the past, I found it strange that _her_ arrogance caused me to go into a rage. In one deft movement, I shattered the magical bonds that held me and forced her against the wall, covering her with my own form of immobilization: changeling glandular secretions. To help build the hive, all changelings have the ability to secrete a powerful glue-like substance. It is stickier than honey, and holds better than any adhesive known to ponykind.

Simply put, she could not break it, no matter how hard she tried.

I took a sort of sick pleasure in spitting on the mare, even if it was only to immobilize her, but I quickly found my center again and looked at her sternly. I discarded my disguise and placed my face directly in front of hers, which was a grave expression of terror. "You still have much to learn, Twilight Sparkle. _Never_ underestimate your opponent." I then sat back with a sigh and looked upon her again, this time with sadness. "I do not expect you to believe this, but I don't _want _to cause harm to anypony."

Her anger returned, the mare glared at me. "You're right, I don't believe that. You're just looking for a way in like last time so that your Hive can take over. Well I'm not going to let that happen. The princess trusted me with this new power, and I'm going to use it to protect Ponyville." She began to struggle as her horn glowed, its power attempting to rip at the adhesive that held her to the wall.

I sighed and lowered my head. "No matter how strong you are or how powerful your magic is, you can't break it. I'm the only one that can release you."

Her eyes shot to me and her horn glowed again, this time with malicious intent. "Then release me or I'll destroy you."

The threat to destroy me hurt a little, even though I expected it. To think that this young mare would go through such an action to ensure Ponyville's safety was startling. Then again, this _was_ me we were talking about. I looked up at her again and shook my head. "If you destroy me, you'll never be free...so that idea of yours out. And if you attempt to inflict pain on me, I'll never release you." Her horn stopped glowing at this declaration, and she waited. I frowned as I looked down at the floor. "I have no hive any longer, Twilight Sparkle. After the failed attempt on Canterlot, they abandoned me." The expression of the mare changed from fury to confusion, so I continued. "The queen is only ruler so long as she has the best interests of the Hive in mind. If the Hive believes this is no longer the case, a new queen is chosen and the previous is left to die."

"That last part I knew." the violet pony answered. She then looked at me in confusion. "Your hive abandoned you?"

I nodded. "I am alone, Twilight Sparkle."

Internal conflict washed over her, and I could see the inner turmoil in her facial expression. For a long time, she was silent before finally saying, "How can you expect me to believe that you aren't here for some new attack? How could I ever trust you?"

I smiled, showing my horrendously sharp fangs. "Because at the moment, I have you completely helpless and I am not moving to attack you in any way." Faster than lightning, I rushed towards her from across the room, and rested my fangs on her throat. I felt her freeze up in fear, and even whimper as she prepared herself for death...but I did not bite. I backed away and sat down again. "I could have easily torn your throat out for all the trouble you caused me in Canterlot...but I didn't. Now ask the most obvious question, Twilight Sparkle."

Once she had composed herself and stopped shaking, the violet mare looked into my eyes with concern. "Why?"

I smiled at her predictability. "Because...I do not want to fight. I don't want to take over, I don't want to hurt anypony...I just want to live as a normal pony, or three. For quite some time now, I have been living my life in silence. As Starshine, I am Miss Rarity's good friend from Germaney. As Mist Ray, I am the best lightning-wrangler Rainbow Dash knows, and I work with her. As Mosswalker, I live quietly in the Whitetail Wood. You are the only one that was not fooled, so believe me when I say that had I actually _wanted_ to, I could have easily overtaken the entire town before you knew anything had happened." I then sighed as I leaned back against the footboard of the bed. "But therein lies the point...I don't _want_ to. I am tired of being the one that everypony hates, I am tired of being the monster...but most of all, I am tired of being alone." I then stood and strode up to the mare before exhaling warm breath on her four trapped limbs, causing the adhesive to melt away and her to fall to the floor. I then turned away from her and sighed. "So my future is now in your hooves. You can destroy me, contact your princess and imprison me, or tell the truth to all of your friends and, once again, ruin me. Please make it quick so I can figure out what to do next." I mentally prepared myself, and was now at peace. I had no regrets if this was the end, as I would do everything again...

Especially my new lives in Ponyville.

For moment upon agonizing moment, there was complete silence. She did not move, she did not speak, and I could swear she was even holding her breath. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she responded with one simple word that stopped my thoughts completely.

"No." she barely whispered.

No? What did she mean? For the first time in a long time, there was a question I needed answers to...and only one who could give those answers to me. I turned around to the pony and asked, "No? What do you mean 'no'? No what?"

"I'm not going to destroy what you have...not this time." she answered firmly.

I gasped in shock, nearly falling over from the amount of surprise I received from that statement. "Why?"

Seeming unconcerned about me now, Twilight Sparkle simply walked by me and hopped up onto the bed, laying down comfortably as she looked directly at me. "Because it's not right...and the princess taught me better than that. She taught me that we have to look for the goodness in ponies, because a lot of times it's covered up and hidden." A sad sigh escaped her lips as she lowered her gaze to the floor in shame. "For a long time I believed that like Discord, there just wasn't any good left in you." The unicorn mare then looked up at me with a sad smile. "Maybe I'm being an immature foal...but I don't want to believe that about you anymore. All of what you've said makes sense. You _could _have done all kinds of terrible things, because until just a few minutes ago, I had no idea you were even _in_ Ponyville...and so I wouldn't have been able to stop you. But the point is that you _didn't_ do anything bad." She then let a genuine smile shine through. "Besides, Princess Celestia always told me that a good princess always does what's right...even if it's dangerous." She hopped off of the bed now and stood in front of me. "I'm not stupid though, so I _will_ be keeping an eye on you...but I'm not going to ruin your life so long as you aren't going to hurt anypony or Ponyville. I never thought I'd say this, but you deserve a chance to live peacefully and with friends." I was so overcome with my own emotions of thanks that I moved to embrace the mare, but I was stopped by an outstretched hoof. "I said I wouldn't ruin your life, I never said we were friends. You're going to have to earn my trust for that to ever happen."

I got a hold of myself and nodded. "Yes, I understand. Sorry about that, I'm not sure what came over me."

The mare lowered her hoof and smiled. "It's called gratitude, and you're allowed to feel that...just without hugging me."

I smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Thank you, Twilight Sparkle."

I watched as the door opened and she walked towards it. "Have a nice day...Starshine."

* * *

The rest of the day was fairly normal, whatever that is. I felt more comfortable with speaking to my new friends, and was completely at peace now. It was a new feeling, and one I liked quite a bit.

As the day began to wane, however, it was time to head to my cloud abode and rest for Mist Ray's work tomorrow. After I changed to Mist Ray and prepared to fly away however, a voice stopped me.

"Mist! Hey Mist, wait up!" shouted a familiarly raspy female voice.

I looked over my shoulder to see a certain rainbow-maned pegasus approaching, so I smiled as I turned around to greet her. "Hiya Rainbow Dash!"

She landed in front of me and frowned. "Why didn't you come to Twilight's birthday?"

The realization struck me that Mist Ray had said she was coming as well, and I slapped my forehead with a hoof in frustration. "Ugh...that was _today_? Rainbow Dash, I'm _so_ sorry, I totally spaced."

She sighed and shook her head. "It's okay, Mist. It's not like she was expecting you to be there or anything, I just wanted you to meet her." The mare then tapped her chin with a hoof before asking, "What are you doing after work tomorrow?"

I shrugged and answered, "Nothing that I can think of."

"Great! Well I want you to come by the library tomorrow so you can meet Twi." she replied with excitement.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Not that I don't want to meet her, but why is it so important that I do?"

"Because," the cyan pegasus answered, her wings flapping in joy, "you're my friend and I want you to meet her! The last cool friend I had ended up making a fool of herself in front of my friends, but I don't think you'd embarrass me like that. I just want my two friends to meet each other is all."

I shrugged again and smiled. "Sounds cool. I'm there if you just tell me the time."

"Noon. I'll let her know you're coming, okay?" she said, but didn't give me a chance to answer as she flew off. "Don't be late!"

So I'd be meeting Twilight Sparkle, _again, _as a separate pony...great.

I just sighed and floated away towards my home, ready to call it a day and rest my weary body.

* * *

When I finally made it to my soft bed, I allowed myself a sigh of relief. Like most days, I opted to stay in the form of a pegasus, and just smiled as I lay my head upon my bed made of cloud. Today was the best day of my life so far. I had made friends, and what was once my enemy had offered me the chance to redeem myself.

I was not going to let her – or myself – down.


	2. Ch 2: The Breath of Life

**A/N: Howdy everyone! Frostbreaker is back with another great chapter for ya! Please R&R and let me know what you thought.**

**To wg12290 - Well perhaps she just felt like being a bitch, and didn't trust Applejack.**

**To Dark Datum - Different kind of gland secretion, and it will be explained in this chapter. As far as things going wrong because of having to live three lives, you'll also catch a bit of that as well. Enjoy the chapter!**

**To spacecowboy2011 - Your comment on Twilight's maturity is accurate, and I can say that it is simply because of time. No matter what we are or where we come from, experience always matures those who actually learn from said experience. As far as Twi's new abilities, you will see more of that in due time.**

**To Southhoof - Well I will keep writing because it makes _me_ happy. Yay!**

****A message to all my readers: I have edited and updated my first story, The Lost Element, and have begun posting it on FIMfiction. If you enjoyed it the first time, you'll love it with the more polished look and flowing feel. If you have time, check it out. My Username on there is Radiant Dawn, and the new name for the story is "Rise of the Elements: The Lost Element".****

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters associated with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, nor the original story.**

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Chapter 2: The Breath of Life

I woke as I normally did nowadays during my new life, pleased that things had luckily turned out well during the past few weeks.

The meeting between Mist Ray and Twilight Sparkle had gone off without a hitch, and though she knew who I really was, the unicorn was not keen to reveal that to any of her friends. When I asked for an explanation, she simply stated that if I truly was living a different life, she would leave it to me to reveal all in good time.

_That_ would be an awkward conversation whenever that day came.

One of the things about Mist Ray's meeting with Twilight Sparkle was her reaction. She was impressed, and intrigued, though she wouldn't say about what.

Today, I hoped to get some answers.

Twilight Sparkle had invited Mist Ray to some afternoon tea at her home. This would be the first time she's invited us into her own personal space, so I was curious as to what exactly she was thinking. At one point in my life, I was so sure of myself and of my ability to read others that I feared little to nothing...but that life was over. I had no illusions about knowing what Twilight Sparkle was thinking, nor what she was going to have waiting for me when I arrived.

So, after quickly cleaning myself and checking to make sure my guise of Mist Ray was in order, I took flight to the town of Ponyville.

* * *

Upon being seen with the Elements of Harmony, Starshine's visibility in Ponyville had vastly increased, so she had decided to take a "vacation" of sorts in Manehattan, much to Rarity's displeasure...but Mist Ray was different for some reason. When she was seen with Rainbow Dash or even Applejack, no pony looked at her any differently.

It must be a unicorn thing.

Still, as I flew towards the tree library in the distance, I couldn't help but think about how much my life had changed in just a few weeks. Firstly, I had friends now - a luxury I had never been allowed to have before. Next, I was completely comfortable around other ponies, so much so that I no longer winced every time I heard whispering that I could not distinguish. Lastly the immensely powerful Element of Harmony was comfortable around me. I knew without fail that she was still cautious, but she no longer was on edge any time I was close to her.

Is that why I'm so paranoid about this meeting? What could she want?

Before I could try and pick apart the violet unicorn's reasons further, I arrived at the library. As I landed, my nerves were pulled completely taut, the mere tension causing me to have to force myself to walk to the door. Perhaps Queen Chrysalis would have been unafraid, but Mist Ray was _terrified_.

Thankfully as I knocked on the door, I was not forced to wait long, as the library door was pulled open by a teenage dragon known as "Spike". I found it odd that such a powerful creature was living in the company of ponies - let alone had such a cutsie name - but he was kind and respectful, so I did not question it further.

As he gazed over the form of Mist Ray, he smiled. "You must be the pony Twi told me would be coming by. Well come on in, she's waiting for you."

I did as asked and walked inside, only to gasp in awe of the home.

As most ponies did, Twilight Sparkle's workplace and home were the same building, with only her private chambers considered off-limits for visiting patrons. Sill, I found it odd exactly how warm and inviting the home was. The long curved wall that faced East, North, and West was covered in floor-to-ceiling bookcases, crammed full with volumes upon volumes of books that I imagined held nearly any type of information one could hope to find. Reading was a new passion of mine, so the mere sight of so many books almost brought a tear to my eye.

"Mist Ray, over here!" shouted a familiar pegasus' voice from behind me, and I turned to see both Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle waiting for me behind a small desk, the unicorn furiously scribbling something on a parchment.

I trotted over and bumped hooves with the weather manager and replied, "Hiya Dash, how you been?"

The mare shrugged and tilted her head towards the writing unicorn. "I've been pretty good. Just been helping Twilight here get the library ready for the upcoming holidays. Speaking of, what are you doing for Hearth's Warming?"

"It's still a month away, Dash. Why so excited so early?" I asked the pegasus, attempting to dodge the question.

Thankfully, the cyan pony took the bait. Celestia-bless my manager and friend, but she was easily distracted sometimes. The rainbow-maned pony floated over to me and asked, "What _isn__'__t_ to be excited about? I mean, it's Hearth's Warming! It's only the best holiday of the entire year!"

I couldn't help but giggle at her excitement and responded, "Well I suppose I can agree with ya there, Dash. It is pretty cool, and we get a week off of work."

She smirked and nodded. "Yeah, paid time off is always good too."

"Spike, can you come here for a second?" the unicorn loudly asked, causing a shuffle to be heard from upstairs before the purple dragon came and dutifully stood beside his caretaker and friend. Twilight Sparkle then held out a scroll to the dragon and he took it in his hand, breathing a green flame over it that caused it to burn and disappear into the air. The librarian then looked with care at him and said, "Thank you Spike. You can go see Applebloom now, I can take care of the library for the rest of the day."

"R-really? I mean, are you sure?" the dragon asked curiously.

The violet mare responded, "Yes Spike, I'm sure. I'm sure she misses you, so go and see your marefriend."

The dragon smiled wide and nodded before picking up a satchel that was draped over a chair and exiting the building, leaving just myself and the two others in the room.

"Gosh...he grew up so fast. I feel like just yesterday I was tucking him in bed, and now he's a teenager and is dating. I feel like if I blink, I'm going to miss another ten years of his life or something." the unicorn said with a sad sigh.

Her fellow Element slung a foreleg over her shoulders and hugged her. "He's growing up Twi, but he still loves you and he's still Spike. I don't think he could ever stand to be away from you for too long anyway. That kid thinks the world of you, you're like his mom." With the "sappy" moment out of the way, Rainbow Dash turned back to her old self and smiled. "So, what are you two doing?"

"We're just going to talk about girl stuff over some tea. Want to join us?" answered the unicorn, though I had a feeling she knew the pegasus would decline.

True to her personality, the cyan mare made gagging noises and began to back out of the room. "Uh, no thanks Twi. I think I'll pass." The pegasus then looked at me and said, "You have fun though, Mist. I'll see ya tomorrow at work. Don't forget to wear your insulation gear, as you're going to be handling a supercell with the others, and I need you to not die."

I hated to think of myself as still being a changeling, but my race had an abnormally high resistance lightning, as well as energy in general. Even with that being the case, I simply nodded and replied, "Sure thing, Dash. I'll be ready." Rainbow Dash smiled once more before opening the door and flying away at breakneck speed.

Once the two of us were alone, Twilight Sparkle let out an audible sigh before saying, "I assume you're wondering why I _really_ asked you here today, Chry-"

"Please, just call me Mist Ray. I'd rather that name die, along with my old life." I interrupted.

The unicorn trotted to the kitchen and began pouring some water into a kettle before saying, "That's actually part of the reason I asked you to come here, but we'll get to that later." She then set the kettle on her stove and turned on the burner, then set about setting two cups on the counter. "I take it you prefer plenty of sugar, right?"

"Yes please." I responded as I let my eyes drift around the bookcases. As my eyes wandered, I heard as she reentered the room and sat beside me, though for a moment she didn't speak.

Finally she said, "I've spent most of my life tracking down some of these books. Some of the tomes I have aren't even available in the royal archives, but Princess Celestia trusts me to keep them safe." I looked over at her and she nodded with tight lips before saying, "Well, on to why I asked you to come here. I've spoken to all of my friends about both Mist Ray and Starshine, and I have to say, I'm impressed you've managed to make friends with all of them...especially Fluttershy."

"But I have-" I began to say, only to be cut off as a the unicorn raised a hoof in the air.

She responded by simply saying, "Mosswalker." I gulped a bit in nervousness, but she shook her head with a gentle smile. "It's okay, you don't have to be nervous. I told you I was going to keep an eye on you, so it's my job to know these things. Back to the matter at hand though, you have to have made one hay of an impression on Fluttershy to make her want to be your friend. Starshine was different, as she was with the others...but when she was on her own and alone, you still managed to capture her attention somehow."

"Mosswalker is rather solitary, you see." I explained. "She is actually every bit as shy as Fluttershy is, so she understands her and knows how to deal with her. As a..." I swallowed and prepared to say the word that I had come to hate, "_changeling_, my skills are in mimicry. I am vastly skilled in changing both what I look like and my very personality to suit any situation."

"You didn't do so well as Princess Cadence." the unicorn shot back, though she instantly added, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean for that to sound the way it did."

I shrugged. "It's alright. I agree, my mimicry of your foalsitter was not one of my better choices, but my arrogance ruled me more than a focused mind. Had I the focus I have now, I wouldn't have tipped you off."

I looked at Twilight Sparkle and she smiled. "Well I'm sorry for how this sounds, but I'm glad you made a horrible fake then."

Instead of guilt or even frustration, I surprised myself by smiling...a true, sincere smile.

Twilight Sparkled continued with, "Anyhow, I was unsure of you at first, but making friends with Fluttershy is no simple feat. She might not be able to sense lies and deception like Applejack, but she can easily tell the difference between acting and true kindness." The mare stepped closer to me with searching eyes and then she smiled. "You really care for them, don't you?" For some reason this caused me to become infinitely nervous, but a gentle hoof on my own caused me to look up into violet eyes, shining with wisdom and gentleness. "How does it feel...having _real_ friends, I mean?"

There was no hesitation in my answer when I replied, "It's the most wonderful feeling in the world. Beyond the added benefit of sustenance, their care and affection feels...good. It's something that can't be replicated."

The unicorn removed her hoof from mine and nodded knowingly as the kettle began to whistle, so she trotted towards her kitchen again and poured the boiling water into the two teacups before levitating the two cups, two spoons, and a saucer of sliced lemons over to the table as she followed behind them.

While we waited for the tea to brew, she stated, "I used to think studying and learning new spells was more important than friendship." I looked up at her from across the small table we sat at, and she smiled sadly. "All those years I wasted, when I could have been truly happy. All my foalhood, I missed out because of it." She then sighed and used her magic to stir the tea in her cup. "But, like most things in life, we don't change unless we're forced to."

"You were forced to make friends?" I asked curiously.

Twilight Sparkle shook her head and squeezed a bit of lemon in her cup before pulling out the teabag and placing the spoon down on the saucer. "No, I wasn't...but I _was_ forced to come to Ponyville." A loving smile crossed her face as she said, "Princess Celestia is always looking out for me, even when I won't look out for myself."

"You truly care for your princess, don't you?" I asked softly.

Without raising her eyes from the steaming cup of tea, she nodded. "I love my mother so much, but Princess Celestia makes me wish I could have two mothers sometimes."

Even with the serious moment, the personality that was Mist Ray couldn't help but inject some dry humor into the situation with, "At least you _have_ a mother. I was created with magic, so I don't have a mother."

The unicorn looked up at me with confusion and said, "I thought changelings were born from those birthing pods."

I nodded. "Normal changelings are, but a queen can only be born of magic from an ancient rite only those of the changeling race know-"

"Sancta Flamma, or the 'Holy Flame'." the unicorn interrupted, causing me to gasp and stare at her. A smug grin crossed her face and she added, "I guess changelings aren't the only ones that know, huh?"

"How?" I squeaked out, still in utter shock of the young mare's knowledge.

She shrugged as she levitated a large ironbound lockbox over to us from on top of the far West bookcase. She dropped the device in front of me and said, "Try and open it."

I looked at the locking device, only to see that there was no apparent means of opening it. There was no keyhole, and no matter how hard I forced, the box would not open. After a few minutes I grunted and pushed the box away. "I can't."

The mare took a sip of her tea before her horn glowed, and the box clicked as it opened. "Only I can open it, and the metal is indestructible. Not even the princesses themselves could open it, even if they wanted to."

I quirked an eyebrow at her and began to ask, "What could possibly be so important tha-" but I could speak no more when I recognized the large book inside. The large leather-bound book was unmistakable, and I gently lifted it out of the box and cradled it in my hooves. I then looked over at Twilight Sparkle and wheezed, "H-how did you get _this_?"

She smiled and said, "It was given to me in secret by Princess Luna. She said that should the changelings ever attack again, it could come in handy."

"But where did _she_ find it? This specific tome has been missing from my race's grasp for centuries!" I whispered out as I held the book against my chest.

She shrugged and answered, "There's some things that the princesses still keep secret from me, that being one of them. I trust them enough to know that if I need to know, they'll tell me."

I ran my hoof over the cover before opening the aged pages, marveling at the fact they looked exactly as they had the first time I had held it as a mere changeling nymph. Softly, I said, "With the knowledge in this book, you could destroy my entire race..." I then looked at the mare again and asked, "Why? Why didn't you?"

"Because there are more important things in life than destruction and killing." she responded as if it were the simplest answer in the world, and perhaps it was. As I continued to look over the ancient book of my people, a tapping on the table snapped me out of my reverie. Twilight Sparkle pointed to the box again and said, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I can't let you have that."

I protectively held the book to my chest, but realized that she was only looking out for her fellow ponies, so I _very_ reluctantly hoofed the book over to the box and closed it. I looked up to see her staring at me in confusion, and I asked a simple, "What?"

"Just like that? I had expected some resistance there, to be honest." the violet pony answered for me.

I sighed sadly as I looked at the case that held my book. "That tome means more to me than you could ever possibly imagine, and I mean that in the most respectful way possible...but I also know that there are some things about my past that have to be let go," I reached out and touched the locked box, "this being one of them."

Twilight Sparkle looked me over for a moment before smiling. "I'm very impressed, and I can say that with complete honesty. I guess I _have_ been wrong about you. Time will tell though, I suppose."

I smirked and asked, "Still don't trust me?"

"Not completely...but I'm getting there." the mare answered with a smile as she levitated the metal-bound box back to its hiding place. "So, there's something I meant to ask you awhile ago."

I took a sip of the refreshingly sweet tea and answered, "Yes?"

Twilight Sparkle set her cup of tea down and her eyes shined with the promise of...something. "That material you spit on me when we first met...I've never been able to find anything on it in that book of yours, and if I'm not mistaken, it's different than the ones your drones make, right?"

I nodded as I took another drink of the tea. "It is similar, but also very different. Unlike drones, a queen's glandular secretions are used for feeding and battle, whereas that of the drones is mostly used for construction. Because of that, it must be much stronger."

"I'll say. The stuff felt like it was indestructible!" my tea partner exclaimed.

I let out a soft giggle and shook my head. "It is not indestructible, but it only responds to changeling magic. An intensely powerful spell could have broken you loose, but it would have ended with you dead as well, which I can assume would be rather counterproductive to your situation at the time."

Twilight Sparkle drained the rest of her tea before sighing. "You know, you could have killed me if you wanted to, and then been gone before anypony ever arrived. Why didn't you?"

I thought back to that day as I rested my chin on my hoof, sipping the tea again. "For a brief moment, I thought about it...I really did." I emptied the remainder of the teacup before setting it down with a soft *clink*. "That isn't who I am anymore though. I don't _want_ to be that anymore, the Hive be damned."

From what I understood, strong language of any kind was a rarity in pony society, so a certain word surprised her, but she must have realized it was only to strengthen the feeling I had for what I was saying, so the unicorn let it go. She nodded with a smile and said, "Well I'm also starting to think that's not who you are anymore, and I'm really happy because of that. From what I see so far, you're a mare that's really trying to atone for her past life...and I'm proud of you for that."

I don't know why, but when she said she was proud of me, an intense feeling of warmth blossomed in my chest, and I couldn't help but blush a bit at the praise. Without thinking, I blurted out, "I hope we can be friends one day."

I mentally cringed at what I'd said, but otherwise held no visible sign that I hadn't meant to say that. Thankfully, Twilight Sparkle smiled softly and answered, "If things keep going as they are, we can one day. I..." Twilight Sparkle swallowed a bit and said, "I believe you can really be different from what you were...I just hope you _want_ to be." I was about to respond, but realized her statement didn't need a follow-up, so I simply nodded with a smile. She then stood up and levitated all the dishes with her as she walked to the kitchen, quickly rinsing them out before returning to the table before me. "Now, onto the other thing I wish to speak with you about: your different personalities."

"Well with each pony I must-" I began to say, only to be stopped by a gently raised hoof, so I fell silent.

Twilight Sparkle nodded. "I know about the others, but I mean the _real_ you...who you are on the _inside_."

I knew what she meant, and I couldn't help but feel very ashamed and even a little angry at myself. I turned my head away and muttered, "There isn't anything inside...there is only what you see."

"That's just it though...I can _see_ the real you. I can see what you really are." she responded, which only made me feel worse.

I sighed and grimaced. "What do you want me to do, Twilight Sparkle? Queen Chrysalis has killed thousands, and hundreds by her own hooves. She deceived, imprisoned, and stole from innocents." The mere frustration and hatred I had for her - for me - became too much, and tears began to flow against my will. "I hate her so much, Twilight Sparkle...I just want for her to go away forever and never come back."

"Do you want to know a secret?" I heard the unicorn ask gently, so I looked up at her and met her eyes with my own. In her own eyes I saw not judgement, nor even cautiousness anymore...I saw only concern. "The reason why I find it impossible to completely trust you is because rather than try and change who you really are, you hide it away...even from yourself. I've seen what that can do to a pony, and with you being as powerful as you are, that won't be a good thing." A violet hoof reached across the table and took mine, and she continued with, "If you're really have as much remorse for your past as you seem to, then the first thing you need to do is forgive the one that wronged you the most...yourself."

When I thought about it, she was correct, but, "I'm not sure if I can do that."

"Yes you can." she resolutely stated. Her hoof then gently patted my own. "Just sleep on it and take your time, but I promise, you _can_...and I'll be here supporting you if you need it."

I am unsure why, but her offer of support seemed to infuse me with confidence, and while I was still a little unsure, the margin between sure and unsure was much smaller now...so much so that I felt it was now indeed possible. With that being the case, I smiled softly and nodded. "O-okay, Twilight Sparkle."

The mare released my hoof and grinned before saying, "Just call me Twilight."

* * *

As I left the cosy library and waved goodbye to the unicorn, I couldn't help but reflect on the entire meeting, but mostly Twilight. She had shown immense wisdom and knowledge beyond anything I ever thought possible, but I simply attributed it to the mighty Celestia being her tutor. What I could _not_ explain was her willingness to help me with the demons that chased my mind and heart. Why had she offered her support? What was in it for her? I didn't know, but the very fact she _had_offered to support me made me _want_ to face my past, so that the great burden I carried with me would be no more.

Perhaps I _could_ be saved.

Something else I found odd was that when we were speaking near the end, I sensed honest concern and care so strong that my body wished to feed off it instinctually. It was something I was not going to think about at length however, as I was tired and needed to rest for work tomorrow morning with Rainbow Dash. Luckily I wouldn't need to feed again for another few days, so I took flight and made my way home.

* * *

As I finished with my nightly grooming of my coat, mane, tail, and teeth, I unceremoniously plopped down in the luxuriously soft cloud bed. Had I not been able to sleep in one now, I would be jealous of pegasi, as nothing I had ever experienced was softer or more inviting.

I lay in my bed and looked out the window at a cluster of stars that seemed to twinkle softly, and for some reason, it caused me to think of Twilight again. It seemed that since my meeting with her today, I couldn't seem to _not_ think about her. I was unsure about what I found so interesting about her exactly, but there was indeed something subtly intriguing about the mare. She was the only one I honestly could not understand. Every time I believe I have her analyzed and figured out, she surprises me with something that completely changes my outlook on her. It was frustrating sometimes, but also...exciting.

On second thought, I do not believe "exciting" is the correct term.

Nonetheless as I closed my eyes and sleep began to overtake me, I could not help but see her face in my mind's eye as the world of dreams embraced me.


	3. Ch 3: Scars of the Past

**A/N: Wow...I feel like a dick. I had this chapter sitting around done, and I never actually got around to posting it. Sorry! Anyhow, please enjoy, R&R, and let me know what you think.**

**To The Midniyt Stalker - If you check out my other stories, you'll see that _all_ of them are rather different from the norm...sometimes in a very large way, sometimes in small, but significant ways.**

**To Guest - You did not read at that time? HAVE AT THEE!**

**To Soulhavok - But of course I will continue. As Darkflight would say, "The fuck I look like?"**

**To UltimateFessd - Update is here, sorry for the wait. Enjoy!**

**To Shadow Kitsune67 - Well you have good timing, because here is the update. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters associated with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, nor the original story.**

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Chapter 3: Scars of the Past

"_Mommy, I don't want to go!" cried the small filly, tears streaming down her face._

_A unicorn mare was also crying as well as she barricaded the door with her body, but she shook her head sadly. "Do as mommy says! Take your brother and run as fast and as far as you can!" She noticed that the filly and colt had not fled, so she stamped her hoof as hard as she could and bellowed, "GO NOW!"_

_Reluctantly, the two young ponies fled as they sobbed, and not a moment too soon._

_In an explosion of splinters, the door shattered, impaling the mare in multiple places as she fell. It was shortly thereafter that she heard the clopping of hooves, and she looked up to see a horribly disfigured creature with a black insectoid body, a gnarled horn, and legs that were filled with holes, as if they were swiss cheese._

_The tall creature laughed haughtily and grinned maniacally down at her prey for a moment before lowering her head to gaze at the lime-green eyes of that which she had hunted for so long._

"_Well well, it appears you finally slipped up, my dear." the being said in a multi-layered voice. It looked around for a few moments before gazing back at the downed pony and asking, "Where are those succulent little foals of yours?"_

_Even as the life-giving blood oozed out of her, she growled out, "You will _never_ find them, monster!"_

"_Monster?" the creature responded with mock offense. "My dear, you wound me. I wish to make a deal with you: you tell me where the children are, and I will make your death quick and painless. Refuse, and things are going to get quite a bit more agonizing before the end."_

"_You'll get _nothing_ out of me, _Queen_." the mare spat, even as her vision began to dim._

_The tall insectoid creature grinned and nodded. "Very well, have it your way."_

_That day for many hours, all that could be heard from that lonely cottage was the sound of screaming the likes of which would make a banshee seem like an improvement...and two young ponies were forced to listen to the cries of agony until after what felt like an eternity, they stopped._

_The two small ponies cautiously began to crawl away towards the forest, only to be stopped by a very unnerving giggle from behind them._

_Against all rational thought, both turned around to see the "Queen" before them, covered in what could only be blood._

"_Well now, I knew I would find you sooner or later." the creature remarked. "I must give your late mother praise, as she refused until the end to give your location away." She then crouched low in preparation to pounce. "It really is too bad it will have been in vain."_

_With that she lunged..._

* * *

I awoke in a cold sweat with my heart threatening to leap out of my chest as I had yet again been forced to relieve the sins of my past...and with this being week number four of this specific incident, I feared this was going to be the norm for me.

I needed help in order to keep my sanity, and there was only one I could turn to.

With this in mind, I threw the covers off of myself and achingly stepped away from my cloud bed before heading directly to the hallway as nausea began to overcome me. As the bile continued to rise in my throat, I quickly escalated to a full gallop to the washroom, just in time to lift up the seat to the toilet bowl and empty the contents of my stomach into it. For what felt like centuries the muscles of my stomach contracted, intent on spewing every bit of what was within me out, until I was dry-heaving as convulsions nearly overtook me. Somehow, I fought them back and instead curled up on the floor of the washroom, sobbing openly.

My how the mighty have fallen.

When these buried guilts of mine first began to surface, my mentality was that of one seeking redemption. I deserved it, and I bore every memory with the pride that I was getting exactly what I deserved for what I had done in the past, but now...

"It's not worth it..." I sputtered as the sobbing finally tapered off.

After cleaning myself up and sipping some water in an attempt to calm my stomach, I made sure my form was in order before taking flight towards a specific library, to speak with a specific unicorn. At this point I didn't care that we technically weren't "friends" at the moment...all that mattered was that she knew me for what I really was, and had saw fit to allow me to live peacefully anyway.

It _had_ to be her...only she might understand.

And so, as I rushed as fast and as discreetly as I could towards the home of Twilight Sparkle, I began trying to think of how to approach the situation..._if_ she would even agree to help me. If I was honest with myself, I was not entirely sure what I expected her to do exactly...

But a shattered mind is not a good breeding ground for rational thought.

* * *

I arrived some time later and knocked loudly on the door, just barely keeping myself in control enough not to cause a scene in broad daylight...but to any pony that paid attention, it was clear I was very stressed out.

I consider myself lucky then that I was alone as the door opened.

A young dragon stood in the doorway with a smile as he greeted, "Oh hey, Mist Ray! What are-"

"I need to see Twilight right away." I interrupted him.

Spike eyed me curiously before shrugging. "Alright then. I'll go get her for you."

As he jogged away and up the stairs, I couldn't help but feel glad that he had not noticed my turmoil, as it was embarrassing enough that I was going to speak to one pony about this...I did not need more than that.

My sharpened hearing picked up on whispering from upstairs, though I knew not of what, but a second later, the unicorn and her assistant descended the upstairs rooms.

The young dragon waved goodbye before stepping out the front door, which left me alone with Twilight.

"I know something's bothering you, because if you came to me looking like you do, it must be pretty important." the unicorn started as she made her way to me.

I sighed and looked down at the oaken wood floor in shame. "Is it truly that obvious?"

"To the average pony, no...you're pretty good at keeping yourself composed." Twilight responded gently. A hoof then pulled my face up to meet her eyes and she continued with, "But you have to remember, I've had to learn to read Princess Celestia's face, and in case you don't know, she's probably the most stoic pony alive. Even her younger sister Luna is easier to read."

I couldn't help as a small smile tugged at my cheeks, and I nodded before following Twilight deeper into her home until we came across a small study. As we stepped in, I heard the door shut before my companion hopped up on a small lounge chair and patted the spot next to her.

"Sit." she ordered, though gently and with concern.

I meekly followed and planted my rump on the soft cushions beside her, and I couldn't help but feel nervous suddenly. Under that scrutinizing gaze, I felt like shrinking and just disappearing. I was unsure as to why, but whenever I was under the analysis of Twilight's eyes, I felt less powerful for some reason, and afraid. It was one of the many things about my life that I had come to accept as "the way things are".

For the longest time, the two of us sat in silence before that silence was broken when Twilight said, "Come on...you can talk to me. What's bothering you?"

For a moment I was silent again before responding with a simple, "I've had dreams lately..."

"Oh?" the unicorn beside me replied in surprise. "Well with how they're making you feel, I'm sure I can assume they're not _good_ dreams, correct?" I nodded, and she moved just a little closer to me, causing me to look directly at her again. Yet again I met with her eyes, but instead of scrutiny, I saw only concern...and that made me feel better for some reason. She placed a hoof on my shoulder and asked, "What kind of dreams are they?"

"Horrible ones..." I responded meekly ‒ a very recent change in demeanor for me since the onset of my nightmares**.**

For a few moments those violet eyes analyzed me again, but as soon as she started, she stopped at a sudden realization. Her own eyes looked away and she whispered, "It's about your past, isn't it?"

I flinched a bit at her statement, with her having been _completely_ accurate. While I was sure at this point that she needed no acknowledgement, I still offered as soft, "Yes."

"What about?" she asked curiously.

I sighed and closed my eyes as the visions came back to me, and I shuddered at the very thought. Where once these memories had been something for me to be proud of, they now sickened me...quite literally. Still, I was practically pleading for help from the pony beside me, so she had to know the truth.

I raised my eyes to look at her again and said, "I saw all the ponies that have died by my hoof." I looked away in shame and continued with, "Mothers, fathers, foals...none were safe from Chrysalis."

"You mean _you_..." Twilight corrected blandly.

I looked up at her in shock. Why would she say that? What would be the point?

Against my wishes, tears began to fall down my cheeks as I asked, "W-why?"

Twilight sighed and closed her eyes. "Because the only way you're going to get over this is if you come to terms with it. You have to make it real, and you have to face it." Her eyes opened and she looked back at me. "You _are_ Chrysalis. _You_ did those things, and that's why _you_ feel so terribly about it...and you should."

Tears broke free with renewed vigor at this as I whimpered out, "How is this helping?"

"You want to know what kind of pony _doesn't_ feel bad about doing the kinds of things you did?" she asked incredulously. I didn't give any response, so she continued with, "A monster."

"But I am a-" I attempted to say, only to be interrupted.

"No...you're not. I don't think you are anymore, because a _real_ monster feels no remorse, and they don't _think_ they're a monster." she responded sternly. Again, silence prevailed for a few tense moments, but she continued with, "Perhaps at one time you _were_ a monster...but you're not anymore." She sighed and looked out the window towards the town the two of us lived in. "I know now why you decided to become those three different ponies. Besides the obvious fact that a changeling queen would have caused an uproar, I think you did it to give yourself a fresh start...to be somepony completely different." Her gaze once again found itself on me and she said, "But Chrysalis can be a new pony too. That's the great thing about life...you can always change."

"I am not sure Chry-...I am not sure I _can_ change." I replied sadly, a few more tears slipping down my face.

"No matter how much you may _look_ like another pony, who you are inside never changed from being Chrysalis." Twilight responded gently, while slowly stroking my mane. "The fact that you feel so terrible about what you've done means that you ‒ Chrysalis - have _already_ changed. The Queen Chrysalis _I_ remember from the attack on Canterlot was mean, and wanted power over all else." I then attempted to look away in shame, but two hooves grabbed my face and forced me to look back at a pair of violet eyes, burning with intensity. "But who I see now is a pony that realizes what she did was wrong, and she's trying to live a better life now. If _that's_ not change, I don't know what is." The mare released my face and smiled gently. "The pony I'm looking at now is the kind of pony I would be privileged to call my friend."

Her last statement caught me completely by surprise, and I felt both my eyes widen and my heart rate quicken as I struggled to keep from...doing something. I wasn't sure exactly how to react, but one side of me wanted to let out a joyful cheer, while another part wanted to fly away as fast as my wings can carry me...while yet another side wished to simply cry.

My need to respond was dashed as I felt two comforting forelegs wrap around me, as I was pulled into an embrace with the pony sitting beside me.

My decision was made...I cried.

Emotions were still fairly new to me. As a changeling, it is true we feed off emotions, but we rarely actually _feel_ them. For me, that meant a lot of social awkwardness, and plenty of moments like this, when the emotional strain became too much, and I just wept. It was embarrassing to say the least, but at the same time, liberating. It felt that with each tear that fell, I was being cleansed. It was an odd sensation to be sure, but one I relished as it happened...

And I especially relished the embrace of Twilight.

* * *

This would make the first time that I'd stayed at Twilight's for more than an hour. As the late afternoon arrived, I was again surprised by her as she asked a simple question that yet again completely changed my expectations of her.

"Would you like to stay for dinner, Chrysalis?"

Not only had Twilight invited me to have an evening meal with her, but she had also used my name...my _real_ name. I couldn't help but mentally giggle at the fact that she likely _never_ thought that sentence would come out of her mouth...but here we were.

As she masterfully prepared a meal, I didn't really have the heart to tell her that I had fed off her positive emotions towards me, and so I was in fact satisfied.

I changed my mind when I smelled a sweet aroma in the air.

A few moments later, a large steaming tray was levitated to a large round table...and upon it was the most wonderful-smelling pie I had ever imagined.

I was openly salivating now in a very unbecoming manner, which simply caused Twilight to giggle at me. "Well now, I kinda figured you'd like this."

"Did you...?" I questioned, pointing to the steaming pastry.

Again she giggled, but shook her head. "I may be better at cooking than I used to be, but no way in Equestria could I ever make something this good. This is Applejack's specialty. I buy these two or three at a time and freeze them so that I can bake one whenever I'm missing the taste."

"It's addicting." I stated, my gaze not breaking with the pie.

"That's definitely one word I'd use." Twilight responded as she sat down and passed a plate to me from across the table. She then levitated a pie server and cut two pieces out, placing one on my plate and the other on hers. Afterwards she looked to me with a warm grin. "Well go on and dig in, I know you're practically dying to."

Her assumption was not far off. From the moment the wonderful baked good was set on the table, I had to restrain myself from practically inhaling it.

And so, with great care, I only got _some_ of the pie on me...instead of all of it.

* * *

Twilight's young assistant Spike arrived sometime during the meal, but only offered a short wave and smile before grabbing his bag and leaving again.

We had finished our meal some time ago, so I couldn't help but notice when Twilight sighed sadly, and with her being my new friend, I felt compelled to assist.

And so, I couldn't help but gently ask, "What is the matter, Twilight?"

She stood up and walked to her kitchen, levitating the soiled dishes over with her before returning a few seconds later with two bottles of apple juice, one of which I took gratefully. She returned to her spot at the table, boring her gaze into the intricate woodwork as she took a drink of the sweet juice.

"I miss him." she replied with a soft whisper. When her eyes next locked onto me, I could see both loneliness and pride within them. She then added, "I barely see him anymore. Where once he was by my side _most_ of the day _every_ day, now I might not see him for days at a time...and when I do, it's only for a few minutes." A sad sigh escaped her lips. "I'm so proud of him for what he's become and what an amazing friend he's been to me, but it's also because of those that I miss him. He's like a son to me..."

It was times like this I wish I had something insightful and comforting to say.

Unlike ponies, _my_ offspring worked for the Hive since coming into their own. There was no personal connection between myself and my ilk, other than the drive to survive together. I had nursery-worker drones for that.

With the fact that I had no words to speak, I instead followed my newfound instincts with social etiquette. I stood up from my place across from Twilight and quickly made my way over to her before placing a hoof on her shoulder comfortingly. She seemed to relax just a bit at the touch, so I chanced it, and embraced her in a soft hug.

It was then that the floodgates opened.

The normally strong and stoic Twilight Sparkle began openly weeping as she leaned against me, her tears running down my coat. My instincts wished me to hold her closer, and so I did...and in turn she wrapped her own hooves around me and wept even more intensely.

For a few minutes, that was my place. I was for the first time a comforting presence to a pony that was broken...and it felt good to be of use again, if only for this.

* * *

After another ten or so minutes, Twilight finally stopped sobbing and looked up at me in shame. "I-I'm sorry, Chrysalis...you don't need this. You have issues of your own to deal with and-"

I cut her off as I gently, yet firmly spoke, "As Rainbow Dash would say, 'I'll never leave my friends hanging.' You were comforting to me when I needed it, because that's what friends do...well now you need me, and I'm not going to abandon you." I sighed as I pulled away from the mare and added, "I will admit it's new to be doing this, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing." I looked up at the violet eyes of the pony in front of me and smiled. "You offered your friendship to me because you saw more than just a failed changeling queen...and it is only right that I offer you the same gesture of friendship."

A small smile tugged at the lips of Twilight before she replied, "Thank you, Chrysalis...I really do appreciate it." She then let out a short laugh. "You know, if you had told me that one day I'd be crying on the shoulder of the changeling queen, I'd call you crazy."

"I never thought I would be doing much of anything that I am now...but here I am. Life has a funny way of working things out." I responded with a grin.

Twilight nodded before quickly downing the rest of her drink and standing, noticing that night was in full-swing by now. "It's getting late, so I should be getting to bed." She then looked at me with...pleading? "Can I see you tomorrow?"

I couldn't help as an unfettered smile was plastered on my face, and I responded, "I'll come by after I finish work with Rainbow Dash. Expect me at around noon."

The unicorn wiped the remnants of her tears away and answered, "I'll hold you to that." She then shuffled nervously as she gazed down at her hooves. "For what it's worth...I want to thank you. I know some of today was uncomfortable and awkward for you, but you were a good friend all the same, and I just wanted to thank you for that."

I felt myself smile brightly and I nodded happily. "It was my pleasure, Twilight." And I meant it more than anything.

* * *

As I lay in my plush cloud bed that night, I couldn't help but have my mind wander to the amazing unicorn I'd befriended.

We were enemies once, and now we were friends.

Having her care and friendship felt better than the sweetest positive emotions, and it warmed me better than a roaring fire.

That night, as sleep overtook me, I dreamt of the unicorn that changed my life.


	4. Ch 4: Breaking the Cycle

**A/N: Hey there everyone! Another chapter comin' at ya! Sorry this took so long, but I've had quite a few things going on, and I'm trying to get "Return of the Avatars" finished up. Anyhow, please R&R and let me know what you think.**

**To wg12290 - You're welcome x26...and your love for the story is appreciated. Read on, as the next chapter is here, in all its glory.**

**To FireBreath5150 - Not all reviews need to be in-depth, I just like to know what my readers think. So whether it's a simple few sentences to let me know what you thought, or a novel (as you tend to write), I enjoy reading them all. Read on and enjoy.**

**To Arualiaa - I'm not sure whether to be flattered or offended that none of my readers can figure out my gender, but oh well...it doesn't really matter. What I have between my legs and on my chest doesn't affect my writing in the least, and nor should it. All the same, I appreciate your review and praise of the story. Here's the next chapter, so read on and enjoy. I recommend having a nice cup of herbal tea to go with it.**

**Music choice: Issac Sheapard's album _Deep Joy_. Buckethead's _Colma_ and _Electric Tears_ albums.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters associated with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, nor the original story.**

* * *

Chapter 4: Breaking the Cycle

Again, the months got away from me. I had now officially been friends with Twilight and the others for nearly two years, and my bond with the Element of Magic had grown far more than I ever thought possible. The young unicorn knew everything about me..._everything_.

After all, true friends don't keep secrets from each other.

In addition to the unicorn learning all about me, she opened up and told me much about herself. Being as secretive as she was, I was not bothered when she still kept much to herself, but at the same time was pleased that she trusted me enough to share with me what she had.

More often than not, Twilight and I would share great deals of time together, whether I was in the guise of Mist Ray or Starshine. Perhaps it was because she was the only one of her friends that knew who and what I really was, or perhaps it was something else...but I knew without a doubt that I enjoyed spending time with her. The connection I shared with her felt special somehow, though I was unsure why.

Perhaps with time, the truth would reveal itself.

Nevertheless, I had settled into life in Ponyville very well, so much so that I now considered it my home...my _real_ home. It felt strange after living for many ages within the hive, I still felt more at home here than with my own kind. In Ponyville, the social castes were much easier to deal with, for example. They still existed of course, but not to the degree that they did within the Hive. In the Hive, disrespect towards a "superior" caste could result in death for the lower caste-member, while in Ponyville (or Equestria in general), it more often than not concluded with a dirty remark...and even _that_ was rare. I began to see another part of myself from those many years ago...

Jealousy.

Yes...I had been jealous of ponies for the longest time. Ponies and changelings had not lived in harmony since the time of the first queen, and for good reason. Because of how my race looked, we would always be held at a distance to ponies, and while I felt it was wrong, I also could not fault them. No matter how much even Twilight Sparkle would accept and befriend me, we would forever be different. True, my physical form could be changed to be truly beautiful...but who I really was would always look like a monster. It was a mere fact of life that I had forced myself to accept, no matter how much I disliked it.

In honesty though, I no longer held that jealousy. I was no longer _of_ the hive...I was of Ponyville, and my new friends. The friendship, care, and love I shared with them brought a whole new meaning to the word "life" for me...and it was not something I was going to squander.

* * *

It was truly amazing how much my life has changed just in a few short years. Today, for example, I was relaxing with Rarity underneath a tree, having tea as we spoke about fashion, love interests (I had nothing to offer there), or just random gossip we'd heard around town. In honesty I was not extremely fond of talking about others behind their backs, but luckily the gossip was focused on a certain pony we both disliked...

Prince Blueblood.

Though the nephew of Princess Celestia herself, the colt held little to nothing in common with his aunt. Where she was benevolent, courageous, and loving, he was cowardly, pompous, and prejudice. It was a sad reality of the world that no matter where one went, one would always come across beings like him. They were even within the hive, and I realized that it was likely the other races of the world had similar people.

"It was simply _ghastly_ the way he treated me that night!" Rarity exclaimed, explaining her one date with the noblepony.

I giggled lightly and responded in a light germane accent, "Ponies such as that exist everywhere, Rarity. I have had more than a few run-ins with ponies just like him. Whether because of prejudice or a sense of entitlement, they tend to believe they are better than everypony else. It matters not where you are in the world...there are _always_ ponies like him."

The white unicorn sighed and sipped her tea as she stared off into the distance. "It is truly so difficult to find a stallion who is truly noble, honest, and kind. Sometimes I fear I may be waiting my whole life, and will never find him."

I placed a hoof on my chin in thought for a moment before smiling and also taking a sip of my tea. "Perhaps _you_ should go and find _him_, my friend. Unorthodox though it may be, sometimes a mare must find and _take_ what she wants."

Rarity looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. "My, that _is_ a rather unusual outlook."

I shrugged. "I cannot say that I have used it to look for a companion, but it has served me well for many things in the past. You of all ponies must know that sometimes we must work for what we want."

My friend smiled brightly and nodded. "You are right, dear...as you are most of the time."

"You know," I began with a mischievous grin, "there's a certain young dragon who's had his eye on you for some time..."

She sighed and placed her empty teacup on the blanket we sat upon. "I know...it could not work, though." She raised her eyes to look at me and added, "Do not think I don't care for him, because I do...dearly. However, dragons mature at a very slow rate compared to ponies. He will not even enter adolescence until you and I are gone from this world."

"That's sad..." I replied, completely meaning it.

Rarity nodded slowly as a single tear left her eye. "It is...it truly is. He is a wonderful and amazing gentledragon, and yet I cannot have him. It would not be fair to either of us ‒ I would steal from him his childhood, and would only leave him with a lifetime of longing. I however, would have to live my life knowing that my selfishness would cause him such pain in what is only the beginning of his life." The sapphire eyes of the unicorn looked into mine as she added, "Unrequited love is not simply for stories, my dear...it is a very real state of affairs for many of us."

"So you _do_ love him then..." I clarified with a sad smile.

The alabaster unicorn nodded slowly with a sad smile of her own. "I do, very much, and he can never know. I fear that at this point in his life, he would not understand." She quickly wiped the few tears away and drew a shuddering breath. "I apologize dear, it is rather uncouth of me to be dumping all of this on you."

I took the last sip of my tea and placed the cup aside before wrapping my foreleg around my friend and pulling her close. "You are my friend, Rarity. Do not ever apologize for confiding in me or seeking my counsel."

Then, for possibly the sixth time in the past two months, I had a very familiar impulse hit me. I wanted to show her who and what I really was...in hopes that perhaps if I were truly honest with her about who I was, it might help us grow closer somehow. The truth of the matter was that I had grown to hate my need for deception, most of all with my friends. While they each knew me, none but Twilight truly knew the _real_ me. I had been forthright in _who_ I was with all of them, but not _what_ I was. The only thought that kept me from revealing myself to them all was the very real fear that should they find their dear friends were in fact the deposed changeling queen, I would be ostracized...or worse.

Before I could lose my composure, I released Rarity and stood with a soft smile, delivering one last piece of advice. "The heart knows what it wants, Rarity. Perhaps you should seek counsel with Twilight, or even the princesses...there may yet be a way to have what you both want."

She looked up at me with a hopeful expression. "Do you truly believe that?"

Another truth... "I do. In my years of travel upon this world, I have found that magic is very versatile and largely mysterious. I make no promises, but I have heard rumors of spells that can bend time itself to their will. Counsel Twilight and the princesses, and do not react impulsively. Should a spell exist that can suit your needs, you must be prepared to explain yourself fully to Spike, which includes both your own feelings and the ramifications of such a thing." I then glared at her sternly. "The _whole_ truth, Rarity...you must leave nothing out."

The unicorn's hopeful expression turned serious, and she nodded. "Of course. I care for him far too much to cause harm upon him by ignorance."

I smiled and nodded. "And that is why I respect you, Rarity." I then quickly cleaned up the area before helping her fold the blanket, then smiled once more. "I must meet with Twilight Sparkle today, so I do hope that you do not think me a horrid friend for deserting you."

The fashionista shook her head with a soft giggle. "You needn't worry about it, dear. You have given me true insight in my life, and have provided me with quite a few things to think about. Besides, I have monopolized on your time for far too long...go and see Twilight. I would meet with you on Thursday for a trip to the spa, if you would like."

I smiled and nodded. "That sounds lovely. I will meet you there at the fourteenth hour."

"Splendid." she replied. We then both headed back to town, both pleased with the information we had traded.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, I was awaiting Twilight at the Golden Oaks Library, next to a very nervous young dragon. It had appeared that the unicorn had gone to visit a zebra by the name of Zecora in the Everfree, leaving her assistant at the library for fear of his safety. While Twilight had been to the zebra's abode many times before, it did not prevent her surrogate son from feeling very worried about her, even though we both knew she was more than capable of handling anything that may come up.

I looked to the teenage dragon and asked, "So how have you been, Spike?"

He visibly relaxed a bit, obviously happy to have something to take his mind off his worry. "Eh, can't complain. I've got friends that care about me, food, and a bed."

I smiled and nodded. "That sounds like a good life, Spike."

He shrugged as he brushed the fins on his head. "Yeah. It has its ups and downs, but like I said, I can't complain."

I raised my eyebrow with skepticism. "You sound rather unenthusiastic."

The young dragon sighed as he slumped against the wall he had been leaning against. "It's not that, it's just...Applebloom and I have been arguing a lot during the past few weeks. I'm starting to think we might not work out as special someponies."

I tilted my head a bit in confusion at his statement, and moved a little closer to the forlorn dragon. "I was under the assumption that you and she were quite close."

He nodded. "We are. She's my best friend, and she'll _always_ be my best friend. I just don't think we're meant to be more than that is all."

"Well why did you ask her to be your special somepony?" I questioned curiously.

He shrugged and twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Well, I've been thinking about that a lot, actually. I really care about her a lot, Starshine...I'm just not sure if _that's_ the reason I asked her to be my fillyfriend."

"What do you mean, Spike?" I pressed with a bit of a frown.

The young dragon sighed as he looked up at me. "The more I think about it, the more I've started to realize that maybe I just asked her because I was lonely, she was there, and she was willing to give it a try."

I gently placed a hoof on his shoulder, and sighed. "I cannot pretend to be an expert at relationships, never having been in one myself, but I believe you should be honest with her. As the sister of the Element of Honesty, I would think she would appreciate a forthright approach. At the very least, perhaps talking with her about it may help you discover your true feelings on the matter, or help mend the relationship."

Spike nodded a few times before smiling softly. "You're right...Applebloom would appreciate it if I talked it out with her. I'll go see her when Twilight gets back." He then raised his scaly eyeridge at me curiously. "You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you for a long time now...just _who_ exactly are you?"

I grinned and shrugged. "Just a mare from Germaney."

"Well yeah, but I don't know much about you besides that...no pony does." he retorted.

I smirked and laid my hoof dramatically over my forehead. "Oh woe is me! You've found me out, Spike! I am really the changeling queen in disguise!"

At this, Spike chuckled, as did I...but while his laugh was genuine, mine was forced. I tried to rationalize that the statement I just said was because it would lighten the atmosphere and it was something so unbelievable that he would never take it to heart.

But in truth, I wished he _would_ believe it.

Still, I knew that now was not the time to reveal what I really was to the dragon, not without Twilight around. The results would be disastrous, and I did not want to test how fire-resistant my carapace was.

Luckily as I was thinking this, the lavender unicorn entered the interior of the library, smiling when she saw the two of us waiting. "Hi Spike, Starshine! Sorry I took so long, but I'm back now." Twilight then levitated a rather large sapphire out of her pouch to the dragon. "Zecora found this while she was looking for herbs near Ursa Caverns. She thought you'd like it, Spike."

The dragon's eyes twinkled as he eyed the large gem, easily the size of my hoof. "Wow...thanks Twilight! Next time you see Zecora, tell her that she's _awesome_!"

Twilight giggled and nodded. "I'll remember to pass that on. Thanks for keeping Starshine company, you can go have fun now, Spike."

The dragon nodded before running to the door, but stopped and turned to me with a smile and a nod before rushing out the door, presumably to Sweet Apple Acres.

I turned my gaze to the unicorn prodigy, who was looking at me in a confused manner. "What?"

"What was _that_ all about?" she asked.

I shrugged. "It's not my business to tell. You should ask Spike when he comes back."

Twilight stared at me for a moment before shrugging and making her way over to me and wrapping a hoof around my neck in a half-hug, which I returned. "It's good to see you, Chryssie. How have you been?"

I pulled away and raised my eyebrow with a smirk. "Chryssie?"

"What?" she questioned defensively. "All of my friends have nicknames. Everypony calls me Twilight or Twi, Applejack goes by AJ, Rarity sometimes goes by Rare, and so on and so forth. I couldn't very well _not_ give you a nickname. Calling you by your normal name just sounds so...formal."

I thought about it for a moment before smiling and nodding. "I actually like it. You can call me that if you want to." I then trotted with her to the kitchen of her home, following her closely. "I've actually been very well. Work with Rainbow Dash is easy and fulfilling, and I think my nightmares have abated."

Twilight gasped as she nearly dropped the bottle of apple juice she was holding with magic, and the bottle itself would have broken on the floor had I not caught it with my own levitation. The unicorn then turned to me with a bright smile. "No more nightmares?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No more nightmares. It's been almost three weeks, and not one sleepless night."

She smiled even brighter and uncapped the bottle of apple juice before pouring it into two glasses. "I'm happy then. I was so worried about you."

Her admittance of concern for me warms my heart in a strange way, but I simply pass it off as having my first close friend in my life. So instead, I simply take the small glass of juice and smile gratefully. "Well your concern is appreciated, Twilight. Truly."

"Anytime, Chryssie." she replied with a faint blush. As we sat down in the reading room, she sipped her apple juice before leveling her gaze with me. "Anyhow, I brought you here to ask you something...and I warn you it might be a sensitive subject."

I was used to her probing by now, and knew it was only in an effort to get to know me and my kind better in a controlled manner, so I was not offended and simply nodded. "Of course. Ask away, Twilight."

She nodded. "Alright then, I wanted to ask you about your future. I already know almost everything about your past, so now I would like to know what you plan to do for this day forward."

I quirked my eyebrow up as I stared back at her. "I...I am not sure what you mean, Twilight. Live, I guess."

"Well," she began, seeming to search for the words she wished to speak, "I mean I enjoy your company, and you've become one of my closest friends, next to Spike and Fluttershy, but I don't think it's right that you should have to be anypony else." My eyes widened as I realized what she was hinting at, but I allowed her to continue. "Under controlled circumstances, I'd like to introduce you to the princesses. I've not told any of them that you're here, but I feel that if I were to stand by you, they would believe you if you claimed you were reformed."

I looked down at my white hooves, twiddling them nervously. "I...I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I think they'll probably just be convinced that you're under some sort of spell, and your actions and behavior aren't your own."

Twilight shook her head as I looked back up, and smiled. "I'm immune to changeling magic now."

I raised my eyebrow in disbelief. "And how did you do that, exactly?"

At this, the lavender unicorn's eyes went a little hollow, remembering something terrible. "Umm...let's just say it was a very long and very painful process."

"What do you mean?" I questioned with both curiosity and concern.

She sighed and lowered her head. "Well, about a week before I first met you here, I had a spell cast on me by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I was in Canterlot that week, and the day you were at my birthday party was actually my first day back. I told everypony that I was just visiting the princesses..."

"But?" I questioned as she stopped.

Again she sighed, as she seemed to shrink a bit. "That wasn't true though." She finally looked up, and I could almost see the memory of pain in her eyes. "I had a magical sickness for that entire week. I was vomiting every few hours, it felt like my heart was pumping liquid fire, and I had headaches strong enough to kill a normal pony from pain alone." She then grew a little misty-eyed. "In fact, had it not been for Princess Luna watching over me, I wouldn't have survived."

"I thought they cared about you." I argued. "Why would they ever do such a thing to you?"

She shrugged. "The princesses have come to trust me like no other over my years of knowing them. I had convinced them that we needed to be prepared in some way in case a changeling attack ever happened again...and while I was researching your kind in the forbidden section of the Royal Archives, I came upon the spell." She then shook her head when she saw my expression of shock. "I knew well what I was getting into, Chryssie...and honestly, even when I was in the most intense pain of my life, I didn't regret it. I knew I was the only one who would be able to do this for Equestria without it destroying them, and the princesses knew it too. The Element of Magic protected me...it made sure I could protect Equestria from the shadows that are out there in the world."

As I came to understand her loyalty to her home, I settled down a bit, though I was still worried about the psychological effects that pain such as that had wrought upon her. More than anything though, I felt guilty.

"If I'd never attacked Canterlot...you would never have done that to yourself." I muttered, tears threatening to break free.

I heard as Twilight shuffled around the table to me, and then she pulled me into her chest in a hug. She rubbed my back soothingly as she said, "You know me well enough by now to expect the truth, so I won't sugar-coat it for you. Yes...it's true, I would never have done it had it not been for you...but I don't blame you either." She then pulled back a bit and raised my chin to look at her, and I saw she was smiling. "Princess Luna once told me that in each moment we live, we have the capability to be the very best or the very worst of who we are. Well, when you were attacking Canterlot, you were your very worst."

I felt a smile tugging at my lips as I asked, "And now?"

Twilight smiled warmly. "You're well on your way to being your very best." She took a deep breath before continuing. "You know, I've learned more from you and discovered more about myself with you than with anypony else in my life. For example, you've shown me that even what was once a monster can be beautiful and amazing." Her hoof gently rubbed my shoulder as she said, "It's an honor and a privilege to know you, Chryssie. I'm so thankful to have you in my life as my friend."

With these words, I felt a strong wave of love wash over me, the likes of which I'd never felt from a single pony before...not even Shining Armor. It was then that I realized just how much she cared about me. My biology allowed me to actually _feel_ it...

And it felt wonderful.

I opened my eyes, which I hadn't remembered closing, and looked at Twilight with a bright smile of my own. "If you would stand beside me, I could do anything, Twilight. If you're there when I meet the princesses, I know everything will be alright."

She smiled and nodded. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else when that happens. When do you want to do it?"

With bolstered confidence, I smiled. "As soon as possible. Ask the princesses when they're free to meet with you, and we'll do it then."

"What about work?" Twilight asked.

I giggled and shrugged. "I'm sure if I tell Rainbow Dash that the princesses want to meet with me, she'll give me a day or two off. Just let me know ahead of time so I can schedule it."

Twilight smiled and nodded. "I'll send a letter as soon as Spike gets home. Now," she trotted towards her kitchen again, "do you feel like some cupcakes?"

I chuckled lightly and replied, "Are you trying to fatten me up or something?"

Twilight's head popped out of the doorway as she looked me over, then nodded. "You're right, you're getting a little pudgy."

"Hey!" I shouted indignantly.

Twilight giggled. "No more sweets for you, my plump pony."

I jumped up and dashed after the unicorn, while she ran giggling away from me around the ground floor of the library.

* * *

After some twenty-odd minutes of chasing, giggling, and even a few cushion-throwing measures, Twilight and I laid panting and laughing on the floor of the library, both out of breath but both happier than we ever thought possible with each other. We were tired, sweaty, and even ached in a few places, but our smiles and laughs did not abate.

To think I'd lived for so long without this.

It was then that three things happened that surprised me. First, Twilight shimmied on her back right over next to me. Second, I casually extended my hoof around her and pulled her closer to me.

Third, neither of us stopped any of this from happening.

Honestly, I didn't care. It felt nice to have her so close to me, and even nicer to hear her giggles and feel breath on my neck. It offered a little pleasurable twinge in me that I didn't want to stop, so I didn't prevent it. For some reason, all of this felt very familiar to me...and that's when it hit me.

I released Twilight and rolled away quickly, which caused my friend to look up at me in confusion and...hurt? "Chryssie, what's wrong?"

I closed my eyes in embarrassment and replied, "Twilight, I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to, it just felt so nice, and you were there, and then we were against each other, and your breath was-"

"Woah, woah, woah, calm down." she interrupted, stopping my rapid-fire apology/explanations. "What's the problem? We were laughing and having a good time, and all of the sudden you push me away like I forgot to brush my teeth or something." She breathed on her hoof and smelled it, shrugging. "Nope, still good. What's wrong? Did I do something to upset you?"

Even in the midst of what just happened, it touched me that she was so concerned for me, but I had to tell her what had happened...or at least what _I _think happened. "I'm so sorry, Twilight. When we were laying like that, it made me feel..." I sighed as the words tapered off, but steeled my resolve and continued. "It made me feel..._good_...like when I would spend time with Shining Armor. I'm sorry if that's weird, but it felt good in a way that I shouldn't feel with my best friend...and I'm sorry about that."

Twilight thought for a moment before her eyes widened in realization, and she blushed as her ears flopped down. "O-oh, umm...well I'm sorry if that offended you. I guess I wasn't thinking, or I should have asked or something."

Wait...now I was confused.

"What do you mean by that? Asked what?" I questioned with growing concern and confusion.

Twilight shook her head with a weak smile. "Don't worry about it, it won't happen again."

As I watched her face and reactions, again, realization hit me...and it shocked me more than anything had before. She knew _exactly_ what she was doing...and she liked it. What was even worse, _I_ liked it too. I liked _her_.

Oh no...

"Twilight," I began carefully, attempting to compose my thoughts, "I'm so sorry...but this wouldn't be good for you. I'm a monster...you don't deserve a monster. That is even without the fact that your princesses would probably banish me to the moon, or worse."

Twilight shook her head as tears began to form at the corners of her eyes. "I said I'd stand beside you, and I meant it. I wouldn't do that for a monster, Chryssie."

I grit my teeth as I used magic to lock the doors and windows, then let the green fire of my magic reveal my true form. I then lifted a holed hoof and gestured to myself in my true, layered voice. "This is the form of what I truly am, and no matter what you think or say, the fact remains that I've been the reason that _thousands_ have perished...and I've killed more than my share with my own hooves and magic." I felt my own tears begin to gather as I turned my face away from her. "I've come to terms with that...and it's okay. You were right, I don't have to be that pony anymore," I then turned my emerald eyes to her with a grimace, "but that doesn't change the past, and it won't change the fact that it _has_ and always will affect who I am." Again I turned my head away, not allowing her to see as tears began to roll down the black carapace of my cheeks. "I feed off of love Twilight, but I was never meant to have it for myself. That is my curse...it is what I was created to be." As the pain in my heart threatened to erupt into sobs, I sighed shakily. "You are amazing, and wonderful, and you're the best friend I could ever hope to have...but you deserve so much more than me. I'm just a broken, corrupted shell of a pony. The light was never meant to love the darkness." Before she could say more, I transformed into the visage of Mist Ray before dashing out of the door, leaving the closest thing I had to love behind.

All because what I was could never be what she should have.

* * *

For the first time since I had come to Ponyville, I felt truly lonely. Now that I had friends, being away from them hurt...it brought forth a pain in my heart that made me feel ill.

As I laid on my cloud bed, I couldn't keep the thoughts of Twilight and what had happened from wreaking havoc on my emotions. I felt many different things...guilt, flattery, and self-loathing, to name a few. The strongest emotion I felt, however, was also the most troublesome...

Longing.

Knowing that Twilight cared for me in such a way had enacted a change within me...and for the first time in all my life, I felt honest affection for another. All the denial and self pep-talks in the world could not change that truth, and a part of me didn't even want to try. Unfortunately, my sense of duty and justice determined that it would be best to avoid Twilight for the time being, and let those feelings wither and die. For what I had done, I did not deserve a connection such as the one I longed for...

And Twilight...

Beautiful, amazing Twilight...she deserved so much better than me. She showed me mercy when I did not deserve it, and gave me friendship when I needed it most. She understood me on a level that I didn't even understand myself, which only made my decision of distance that much more difficult.

For the need to do what was right, however, I could not falter. I still had a lifetime of evil to atone for, and the filthy and marred cannot commingle with the radiant light of good.

My heart broke as I came to this realization, and for the first time in many months, I cried myself to sleep.


	5. Ch 5: Fires of Redemption

**A/N: Good morning/afternoon/evening, everyone! Been a long time coming for this chapter, so I thought I'd treat you a little and release it earlier than I originally planned to...just because I can. With that being said, there will be a lot of time jumps in this chapter, so pay attention. Please R&R and let me know what you think.**

**To Soulhavok - Any realistic relationship is far from only having positive moments. Whether a friendship or otherwise, it takes work, and sometimes our fears and misgivings can get the best of us.**

**To (Guest) - Frosty the Snowmare, hm? Curious...though I will admit it isn't the _strangest_ title I've recieved thus far. The only thing I can truly say in regards to your analysis of me is that femeninity and masculinity are often skewed by the personal biases and prejudices of he or she who sees those traits. A girl can love learning makeup skills and love clothes and shoes, but enjoys playing tackle football with her friends or family. Similarly, a man can be a soldier and a fireman, while still being emotionally open and sensitive to the feelings of others. Only an ignorant individual follows the gender roles and stereotypes, as there are always exceptions to rules. And by all of that, I mean no offense.**

**To wg12290 - Well I know a lot of my readers are excited about that, so I'll not keep you all waiting any longer. The first part of the "revealing" will be in this chapter, so enjoy.**

**To Oggeleet - I've said it once and I'll say it again, these stories have a life or their own. I just write them down...there's not much for me to keep track of, since I just write what naturally progresses.**

**To The Unknown Twinkie - Indeed. This chapter will have more angst, with fluff and some resolution at the end.**

**To UltimateFessd - It is never said that Twilight always sees Chrysalis as a changeling...merely that she can always see her for what she truly is. How you ask? Read on, and find out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters associated with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, nor the original story.**

* * *

Chapter 5: Flames of Redemption

It had been Twilight...

She had taken the bad dreams away...with her gone, they had returned with a vengeance. The dreams had changed, however, and it seemed the demons of my past that caused the nightmares had sought out a new target...one that shook me to my very core...

Twilight.

As bad as it made me feel, I _wished_ I could be having nightmares about the ponies I had slain in the past. Instead, they were all replaced by Twilight. They were false nightmares, in that they were skewed dreams brought about by my own inner turmoil...and yet I could not deny the fact that it had caused me to many times fly to the bedroom window of the young unicorn in the dead of night, making sure she was unharmed and sleeping peacefully.

It had been nearly two weeks since we last spoke, and every day was agony to me. Work was torture because I no longer had my closest friend to speak about it with, and the days as a whole seemed much more drab and grim than before. Without realizing it, I became a veritable shut-in, only leaving my home to work or feed in some form before returning. I had tried to convince myself that it was because I wished to spare the pining mare the pain of having to see me again after our altercation...

But the truth was far worse.

The truth was that I had no idea what to say to her. What was even _worse_ was the fact that I had admitted to myself that I _did_ care for the mare...deeply...likely in the same way she cared for me. Unfortunately I did not have much experience with my _own_ emotions, so for the moment, I was unsure of them...but I knew for a fact that I had likely reacted prematurely to the situation, and may have permanently damaged a friendship in the process. After all, it was not like me to avoid a troubling matter as I had this one, but it was also the first time where I had no idea how to handle it.

* * *

Today, I was worried.

After work with Rainbow Dash I met Twilight in the marketplace...nearly two weeks after last meeting her. What worried me the most was her behavior. It was kind, but the sort of kindness one would treat a stranger with. And what worried me more than that were her emotions...

There was _nothing_.

Where I should have felt happiness towards me or at the very least, friendship, there was a void. The smile that graced her face _looked_ genuine, but without being able to sense what she felt, I could not tell for sure. This caused a rising panic to well up within me, bringing forth all manner of fears to the surface. The most prominent was the fear that Twilight was being impersonated by a changeling spy...a fear I quickly dashed after realizing that if _anypony_ knew a changeling in disguise, it would be me.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, as the case may be), the pony before me _was_ Twilight. Her scent, her subtle movements that were unique to her, and even the way she walked was all the same as it normally was...which only made what was happening worse. I was confused...and oddly hurt by it all.

"Starshine?" Twilight called to me, bringing me from my thoughts and jerking my focus to her.

I shook my head a bit in an effort to free my mind from the addling thoughts. "Umm, yes? I apologize, my mind was elsewhere."

Again Twilight flashed a gentle smile before replying, "It's alright...happens to all of us. Anyway, I need you to come to the library later on...I have something important I need to tell you about concerning the princesses."

My thoughts on the lavender unicorn were swept away at the injection of the new topic in the conversation...one that I was no longer sure of. A mere two weeks ago, my confidence on the matter was stronger than ever. Just like so many other positive things in my life recently, however, it hinged on Twilight. My confidence, my comfort in my new life...hay, even my happiness was all connected to her. For the first time in my long life, I was in something far too deep...and it was too late to break away. As powerless as it made me feel, a very disturbing truth had reared its ugly head in my life...

I needed Twilight.

Without her friendship ‒ her care and affection ‒ I was powerless. The world seemed less important, and I no longer felt sated by the friendship my other friends offered to me. It made me feel horrible that I was playing a favorite among my treasured relationships with the ponies I had come to care for, but at the moment it didn't matter to me...

And I couldn't pretend it did anymore.

"I can't do it." I replied softly, not caring that we were out in the open, right in the middle of the market during the busiest part of the day.

This seemed to catch Twilight by surprise, as her eyes shot open in shock and worry. "What do you mean you can't do it?"

I screwed my eyes closed, unable to look at her. "I can't meet with them...I can't..."

"Umm Starshine," she sang nervously before dropping her voice to a harsh hiss of a whisper, "we're in _broad daylight_!"

I didn't care.

"I don't care." I answered in defeat. I then raised my head and looked around at the ponies that were milling about, noticing that a few of them were staring at us. "I don't care what they think of me, I don't care if they find out what I really am...not anymore."

And I didn't. It just...didn't matter anymore to me. For so long, I had come to hate the need to hide from everypony...especially my friends. It was true, Twilight could see the strange miasma of aura around me that identified me as a changeling, but I still rarely showed her my true form. As a changeling, my entire life was filled with deception and deceit. It was a sad truth of my race that lying was our life...it was a part of who we were as much as our wings or fangs. With the founding of a true friendship between Twilight though, I began to resent that part of myself. I had come to terms with my past, and had set about atoning in some way for my past sins...but my disguises had become very uncomfortable to me. Perhaps it was the fact that Twilight accepted me for who I was or perhaps it was simply time that was changing me. One thing was for sure, however...

I was about to do something _very_ stupid.

I turned my eyes back to Twilight's to see her face becoming the very image of dread and fear of what I was about to do...and for good reason. "I'm done pretending...I'm just done...I can't do it anymore."

"Starshine," she began warily, "don't throw away everything we're working for."

I kept my eyes focused on hers as I replied, "My name isn't Starshine...and it's time the rest of the town knew it as well."

As I released my hold on the disguise that veiled me, I felt as a certain unicorn collided with me...and then the world disappeared.

Whether it was a few seconds or the twinkling of an eye, I didn't know. The only thing I _was_ positive of was the fact that I now laid in the middle of a familiar library...with my true form showing to a very frightened young dragon.

"Q-Q-Queen C-Chrysalis?!" he exclaimed in fright as he dropped the glass of water he was holding. He then turned his eyes to Twilight and growled before rushing over and pushing her off of me. "I got this, Twi! Run and get the others!"

I heard a clattering of hooves from my side as the mare quickly stood. "No, Spike! It's fine!"

Not to be talked-down, the dragon sneered at me. "You've got her under a spell! Well this'll teach you to mess with my sister!"

I watched with fear as the dragon took a deep breath and exhaled bright green flames all over me. There was a moment of intense searing pain, followed by a slight tingling as my vision began to tunnel, and lastly I could have swore I heard somepony screaming.

* * *

Voices were the first sensation that came, and then next was the feeling of my skin being hotter than the surface of the sun itself. The smell of burnt flesh and what smelled like scorched glass wafted through my nostrils, and had I been able to stand, I would have rushed to the washroom as I felt my stomach flip. I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or closed, nor whether this was a dream or reality.

The voices did not clear with time, and sounded as if I were being spoken to while underwater. My mind as a whole seemed filled with a dense haze that dampened my thoughts and senses, but I _did_ notice what felt like something cool on my skin, as if I were submerged in a cool lake or river.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the sounds began to clear. First, I noticed a bird that was singing, its song slowly getting more and more sharp before it was as it should be, and then I heard whispering from my side.

"Twi...I'm so, _so_ sorry...I didn't know."

"It's alright, Spike...under any other circumstances, I'd be flattered that you are so protective of me. Besides, I think two-hundred 'I'm sorry' sentences are enough."

I tried to respond, to tell them that I was awake...but my mouth would not move and I could not even control my own breathing. It was as if my body was simply running by itself, and I was a silent, unwilling prisoner in it.

"How long until they get here?" Twilight asked her assistant with a trace of regret in her voice.

"They said they'd be here around sundown, so another hour or so, I guess." he replied with a sigh. "Why did you wait so long to contact them? I mean I understand wanting to keep her a secret, but _three days_? That's pushing it."

The sounds began to muddle again as I suddenly felt very sleepy, and a moment later, the void embraced me.

* * *

"So what _can_ we do? There has to be _something_ we haven't tried yet." was the first thing I heard upon "waking", and even though I could neither see nor speak, I knew it was Twilight.

A sad sigh sounded through the room, along with a nervous shuffle of hooves. "We can only wait, Twilight. I have done all that I can safely do...the rest is up to her. She has to _want_ to live."

I recognized that voice, though I couldn't place from where.

A few moments of silence followed before being broken by the same unknown voice. "You truly care for her, don't you?"

Another few moments of silence reigned, before a soft voice spoke, "More than I thought I could. It just sort of...happened."

I tried to hold onto the words as they continued to come, but once again I felt myself "slipping" as the words began to become muddled in water that didn't exist, and again, the darkness and nameless depths embraced me.

* * *

My entire body ached, my skin burned as if on fire, and my mouth and throat felt like the deserts of Camelu...thankfully without the sand. A headache pounded behind my eyes and all the way down my neck, causing even my teeth to hurt. My nose was assaulted by the strong smell of antiseptics and cleaning agents, along with the subtle smell of lilacs and vanilla.

'_Twilight'_

I reflexively tried to lick my dry, cracked lips, only to find that I _could_ do so now. The realization that I could move again nearly caused me to jump up in shock, but the only action this caused was an extremely painful twitch of my body, which caused me to groan and grunt in agony.

Deciding to take it in foal-steps, as it were, I attempted to open my eyes. Luckily, I could tell that they _were_ indeed closed, but found them exceptionally hard to open...as if heavy weights were attached to them. My will was stronger, however, and I forced my eyes open very slowly.

The first bit of light to invade my irises was as bright as the sun itself, and stung the same, causing my headache to intensify tenfold. I shut my eyes with haste and groaned as the pain actually made me feel somewhat dizzy.

"Oh...you're finally awake." commented a soft voice from my right.

I licked my lips again with my tongue that did not seem to do much to moisten them, and whispered, "Lights..."

I found it strange as I heard a click instead of somepony blowing out a candle. Leaving that thought for later, I again attempted to open my eyes.

My vision swam as I attempted to focus, but after a few attempts I was able to see clearly enough to notice that I was in a small, plain bed with plastic railings. The walls of the room were a soft blue, and there were a few strange boxes to my left, each one connecting me to it by way of strange lines of what looked like twine of some sort.

"They're monitors." explained the voice. "They keep track of your respiration rate, temperature, heart rate, and magic flow."

I turned towards the one speaking to me...only to gasp in shock and fear.

Standing to my side was none other than Princess Celestia, looking as regal as ever...but to me, it was _very_ intimidating. I was helpless for some reason, and if she attacked, I could not defend myself. I was at her mercy, and I silently prayed that if this were the end, it would be quick.

I visibly tensed for the inevitable end that I saw coming...and the princess noticed this.

"Do you fear me, Chrysalis?" the princess of the sun asked with a flat expression.

Whether I was not disguised or she could simply see through it, I did not know or care. What I _did_ know was that one of the most powerful beings in the world was standing before me, and she knew who I was. Her horn was sharp and deadly, with her vast stores of magic being even more so. With only a fraction of her power, she could crush me like an insignificant insect in my weakened state.

So why didn't she?

I nodded in response to her question, hoping to have an answer given to me. "Yes...I-I do."

'_Please don't ask why...I already feel small enough as it is.'_

"Why?" she asked with the same unreadable expression.

'_Damn her...'_

My anger flared at the seemingly stupid question, and I just barely fought it down to keep from shouting in rage at the solar princess. Instead, I took a deep breath to calm myself, and spoke softly, "I am quite sure you know, Princess Celestia. I attempted to conquer your kingdom but a few years ago, and my kind has been a thorn in your side for as long as you've reigned. Not only that, but I am personally responsible for many atrocities that only you and I know of."

The princess nodded, but did not respond otherwise.

I then sighed as I closed my eyes again, leaning against the soft pillow that cradled my head. "By rights, you should destroy me. I have caused you so much pain and hardship, and have destroyed many of your beloved subjects firsthoof...both their hearts and their lives."

"And what sort of ruler would I be if I allowed grudges to rule my actions?" she asked, though I felt it was a rhetorical question, so I kept silent. The princess moved closer and sat down on the floor, looking eye-to-eye with me. "Destroying you would not bring the lost lives back...it would only put blood on my own hooves. It would change nothing of the past, and would only lead to a bleak future when the ponies I love and protect learned I murdered a defenseless pony in cold blood." She then sighed as she closed her eyes. "A changeling though you may be, and the cause of a great amount of unrest in the past...my subjects would not see it that way should I submit to my emotions and act upon them. They would simply see me as an unstable ruler who would dishonorably attack and murder another in rage. No matter the reason, it would reflect badly on my sister and I. Twilight would _never_ forgive me, Chrysalis...and I could never look at myself again without wanting to vomit in disgust."

I relaxed a bit as the hope she would not kill me took root, and asked, "So Twilight...?"

The princess nodded. "She told me everything. Everything from when she first came upon you until a few minutes ago, when I forced her to go home and sleep."

I shifted uncomfortably as I felt my rump go numb from sitting in such an awkward position, rolling to my side with a grunt of pain. "How long have I been here?"

"Nearly a month." came the gentle reply of the princess of the day. "Let it simply be said that dragon's fire burns more than just the flesh."

I nodded, having come in contact with the powerful weapon before. "My magic was burned away as well."

"Yes." Princess Celestia confirmed. "It stunted your healing process, extending what should have only taken a single week to nearly four." The bright white alicorn then pointed to me, and I looked to my carapace. "Luckily, I am well versed in healing magics. I will admit, it was tedious to heal the magical burn of dragon's fire, but at Twilight's request, I did so." I looked up to meet the princess' eyes again as she added, "She truly cares for you, Chrysalis."

I simply nodded, darting my eyes away in shame.

"Do you care for her as well?" the princess asked, though I had an inkling she already knew the answer.

I sighed and answered, "I do...as much or more than she cares for me. I feel..._empty_ without her. I was not thinking rationally when all of this began, and she was the one I knew I could count on, because she knew _me_...knew who and what I really was, and accepted it." I then remembered what had caused all of this, and nearly sobbed as I recalled our "falling out" of sorts. "I cannot be what she wishes us to be, princess."

"And what is that?" she asked in a curious manner, shifting slightly as she did so.

I shrugged, unsure of it myself. "More than mere friends, I believe. As much as it feels awkward to say so, I felt the same emotions from her that I felt from Shining Armor when I impersonated your niece. Much less intense of course, but they were there."

"I suspected as such." the solar diarch replied with the smallest of smiles...a response that I noticed.

I nearly choked on the air I breathed, but was thankful that my saliva glands had worked to moisten my throat. "You're not upset?"

The princess shrugged with a soft smile. "I will not say it is expected for such a thing to happen, but like me, you have seen many centuries of life...and with it have acquired a great deal of knowledge and understanding. I believe it is the character of a pony ‒ or in this case, changeling ‒ that is to be judged, not the form."

"If that's the case, you should destroy me now." I muttered in defeat, turning my eyes to the floor.

I felt as the princess' hoof tilted my chin to look at her again, and I noted with surprise that she was smiling. "Your history is just that, your history. Do you truly believe you are the only one in this world with a marred past?" The sun princess released my chin and tittered gently. "Heavens no, Chrysalis. I am sure you know of Luna's infamous transformation into Nightmare Moon, as well as the atrocities she committed...and yet she has been cleansed and is now accepted and loved the same as I am." She then leaned in close and whispered, "And just between you and I, I have made more than my own share of mistakes in the past...some of which have cost hundreds their lives."

"Then you understand how I feel." I mused.

"More than you know." she replied softly, her eyes misting ever so slightly.

"How do you go on?" I asked sadly, reflecting on my own demons. "How do you not let your nightmares and the shadows of the past overcome you?"

The princess sighed as she turned her head towards the ceiling of the room, her eyes gaining a far-off look in them. "With help from those I love. My sister of course, my niece Cadence, and her loving husband, Shining Armor." Princess Celestia then paused as she lowered her eyes to mine again, and I could see and feel nothing but love within them. "And of course Twilight."

The rush of love I felt as she mentioned those names was enough to make me lightheaded, and its presence strengthened me more than I thought one pony's love possibly could.

After a moment the flow of strong emotions stopped abruptly, and I turned my gaze to the princess, noticing that my eyes had rolled back in my head. She was smirking ever so slightly as she questioned, "That felt good, didn't it?"

I smiled sheepishly at the realization that I likely looked rather lewdly pleased at the moment, and simply nodded in response.

I watched as the princess then stood with a sad smile. "I can unfortunately offer no assistance in regards to your issues with Twilight...but I must advise you to forgive yourself." She then pointed to herself. "I know fristhoof just how easily one can become their own worst enemy. In a situation such as yours, the sort of action you have taken will only result in pain and heartbreak for all involved. Forgive yourself...and allow your wishes to be fulfilled."

With that, the solar princess quietly stepped to the door and made her way out of the room, leaving me alone with my own thoughts. As I thought on the princess' words, a very startling revelation took hold...

Had I made a mistake?

Had I truly let my self-loathing and misguided need for redemption take control of my life? The answer eluded me, as I could not at the moment see myself objectively, but it was clear that whatever the case, I would need to make amends of some sort with Twilight. After all, she had been more than willing to stand beside me to weather whatever storm would come...but I had allowed my own misgivings about myself cloud my mind.

It was likely she was blaming herself for it all.

It was one of the many things I admired about the mare...her willingness to accept responsibility, even if it was not given to her. And yet, it caused problems in situations such as this. The mare was often far too hard on herself for foul-ups that would happen, and from what our mutual friends had told me, it was far from a new trait. It worried me, in honesty. Still, I knew that in the same spirit of honesty, I was not one to talk on such a matter. Recently, I had taken to much the same behavior, though mine was targeted towards my past, instead of the present.

Eventually, my thoughts on the matter were exhausted, and with nothing else to do but wait, seeing as how I was not tired, I let a small spark of magic out and cradled it in my hooves. The green spark tickled my hooves as it began to run along my thick carapace, and into and out of the many holes within my legs and hooves. The burning sensation upon my carapace and on the soft flesh underneath was forgotten as I concentrated on the magical spark that I played with.

In my youth (which unfortunately was too long ago to remember clearly), I often did this very act in times of nervousness or anxiety. It was calming in some ways, though I was unsure _why_ I did it in the first place, exactly.

* * *

My little "game" of sorts kept me busy (and sane) throughout the silence of night, and I was able to watch the sunrise. Hours had passed since I first woke in the night, with the solar princess watching over me, and while I was far from completely well, I was leaps and bounds ahead of where I began. The love Princess Celestia practically spoon-fed to me helped quite a bit, and while I was still confused of the princess' actions and motives, I was thankful all the same.

I was startled by the sound of the door opening, revealing a rather happy-looking earth-pony mare. Her coat was of a pure white, while her mane and tail were a soft pink...akin to Fluttershy's. Lastly, on her flank was a red cross, along with small pink hearts in each of its four open corners...and she wore a small nurse's cap that mirrored her cutie mark.

"Good morning, dear." the pony greeted with a warm smile.

I was shocked at her behavior, and pointed to myself as I asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

The mare tilted her head as she looked at me quizzically. "Why, because you're the ex-changeling queen?"

I nodded with a sheepish smile. "Well...yes."

The white pony giggled softly and shook her head. "My oath binds me to provide care to _all_ who are injured, not just ponies. Besides, the princess assured the entire hospital that you are safe, so I have no problem with you. It doesn't matter though, I'm not one to judge. I've come across dragons that are so kind as to give you their own scales if it came to it, and gryphons so sweet and thoughtful that a pony might forget they're even different species." Again she shook her head, the few loose strands of her mane brushing against her head gently. "You're the first changeling I've ever treated, but that doesn't change the fact that you're going to receive the same care and support I would want somepony to give to _me_."

The pony's cheery demeanor calmed me, and I extended a hoof to her. "Chrysalis."

She took my hoof in her own, not the least bit put off by its appearance. "Redheart...or Nurse, or Nurse Redheart...whichever you feel most comfortable with."

I allowed myself a smile as I nodded. "Thank you, Redheart."

The pony nodded before pulling a small platform out from under the bed, which she hopped up on, making her able to look at me eye-to-eye. She gazed over my body and inspected the bandages thoroughly. "So, all things considered, how do you feel?"

I shrugged. "My carapace feels like it's on fire, I have a headache that makes me want to tear my eyes out, and my entire body aches."

"Which can all be taken care of with a little pain medication, dear." Redheart assured.

I nodded. "And also, if it isn't too much trouble-"

I was cut off as the pony pushed a rather large jug of water into my hooves. "You're thirsty...I know. It is a rather predictable condition after being in a coma for nearly a month. Drink as much of that as you can, and leave the rest on the table beside you for whenever you should need it. You'll need the fluids as your body continues to repair the damage done by the dragon's fire, so water is your friend right now." The mare then crossed to the other side of me to where the monitors were and pressed a button on one of them, causing it to beep and emit a slight humming sound. She turned to me and smiled after doing so. "There. You should begin feeling much better within the next few seconds here. Press the red call button on the bedrail should you need anything. I'll be back to check on you again in an hour."

I felt a slight warming sensation at the origin of the clear tubing that was embedded in my arm, and nodded with a smile at the nurse. "Thank you for your care, Redheart. I truly appreciate it."

She smiled and shook her head with a wave of her hoof. "Don't worry about it, dear. You just get some rest and let me know if you need anything." The white pony then trotted out of the room, closing the large, solid wooden door to close behind her.

I watched through the blurry glass of the window as the nurse pony walked away, and was rather happy that I was being treated so nicely by a stranger...and in my true form, no less. It was a very pleasant change that I was enjoying so much that I did not notice as the door opened and closed while I lay my head on the pillow and hummed softly to myself.

For a good half-hour or so I did this, gradually getting louder as the medications took hold and began to remove my reservations towards...well, anything. The music I was humming had been a tune I had heard many times when I was visiting Twilight, though I was unsure of what it was called. She always played it on the small "radio" device when I would visit her, and it became a common background element I associated with her.

"You should learn the words, you know...you have a beautiful voice." commented a weary-sounding voice from beside me.

I turned my gaze to my left to see Twilight, standing near the window of the small room.

"Twlight?" I questioned, as if not believing she was truly there.

The lavender unicorn frowned softly as she placed her front hooves on the bed and pulled herself to stand next to me. For a few moments she was silent as she looked over the many bandages that covered me, as well as the different monitors that were connected.

"I'm so sorry this happened, Chrysalis..." she whispered mournfully.

As I remembered the events that led me to be here, I chuckled and shook my head. "It was my fault for attempting to blow my cover prematurely, Twilight. You simply reacted to keep me from doing so, and Spike protected you from what he deemed a great threat to your safety. Don't blame yourself for that...I sure don't."

"But..." Twilight began, her lip quivering a bit as she struggled to compose herself, "you almost _died_...several times, actually. There must have been something I didn't do right, or didn't do well enough, or...I don't know..._something_."

I felt as my lips fell into a half-frown, and replied, "Are you really going to keep blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault? I mean, I know that's kind of your forte, but I'd _really_ like to see you smile instead." The mare looked at me and offered a forced smile, but I shook my head. "No, a _real_ smile."

Twilight's head lowered just a bit, and she sighed. "I'll smile when you come home to Ponyville."

To hear her refer to the town as "home" warmed my heart...even more so because she _wanted_ me to be here. However, that still left a rather touchy subject that I needed to bring up.

I looked back to the lavender mare and tilted her head up with my hoof. "Twilight, I'm sorry."

The mare raised her eyebrow, but made no attempt to move away. "Sorry for what, exactly?"

"I ignored and avoided you for two whole weeks." I answered, feeling the shame and regret clawing at my mind and heart.

Twilight sighed as she looked down at the white sheets that covered my hind legs and tail. "To be honest, I probably would have reacted the same way. You're not the only one who would panic like that." She then grimaced a bit and added, "That didn't make it hurt any less, though."

I felt the cold tendrils of regret and self-loathing once again take hold, but for a mistake that I had made with somepony who cared for me, and that I too cared for. It was not a regret from my bloody past, and nor was it an act I had done out of sadism and arrogance. No...I had caused another pain based off of my own misguided belief that what she wanted was beyond our reach...that _I_ was not good enough to be cared for in such a way.

Maybe it was time I took the wise princess' words to heart.

"Twilight." I whispered, my scratchy throat still bothering me. When she looked up at me, I focused my eyes on her and spoke slowly and deliberately. "My race are predators...or at the very least, parasites. It is in our nature to deceive and lie to get what we need to survive."

The unicorn took my hoof in her own, and nodded solemnly. "I know what you are, and what you must do to survive...but why are you telling me this?"

"Because since you and I have become friends, I've never lied to you...and I don't aim to start now." I explained gently. I then took a breath in preparation before continuing. "I am unsure of how else to say this, so I'll just be blunt about it. I care for you, Twilight...more than I've ever cared for another before. It is new to me, and frankly, scary." She snorted a small laugh at this, and I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "Yes, big bad Queen Chrysalis is scared."

Twilight smiled gently after composing herself and shook her head. "We're all afraid of something, Chryssie."

Her use of the nickname she created for me calmed me and caused a pleasant fluttering in my chest to come about. I locked eyes with the unicorn beside me and slowly extended a hoof to her face, and finally made contact with her cheek as I rubbed it soothingly. She sighed as her eyes shut, and leaned into the caress happily. This event brought about an unfamiliar warmth within me, but one that I was more than keen to explore. I thought back to that day in the library when we had played like fillies, before my fear and self-hate drove me to flee.

This time, however, I did not stop myself.

I ignored the slight pang of pain as I placed my arms under those of Twilight and lifted her onto the bed, next to me. I then shifted a bit so that there was enough room for her, and without questioning it, wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close, until her side was pressed up against my own, and I laid my head atop hers next to the horn.

"You're not going to run away now, are you?" Twilight questioned playfully, and I felt as her soft breath caressed the sensitive healing carapace on my throat.

I chuckled softly and replied, "Never again, Twilight."

Her warmth and the care and affection that radiated from her in combination with the medications began to soothe me into slumber, and I only had time to nuzzle the unicorn's mane one last time before sleep once again claimed me.


	6. Ch 6: Mending

**A/N: You know what's really good? Watermelon fudge...don't judge until you've tried it. Ooh, and blueberry fritters. Anyway, I am still alive and still writing the "stories of the awesome things", though work and other things tend to be taking up a lot of my free time. With that being said, I apologize for updates taking so long, but I am attempting to get them out as soon as possible. Anyhow, please R&R and let me know what you think.**

**To brony325 - Indeed, though there are a good number of chapters left, so there's more "coming together" yet.**

**To wg12290 - (\ Appreciated...glad you're enjoying.**

**To Xavious216 - I agree, though since there aren't, I'll just have to be the one to write them...and I have another one cooking in the oven at 375 right now, so another story will be coming as soon as I have the time.**

**To (Guest) - I believe that those who have seen their wrongdoing and understand it wish to atone for it in some way. A noble soul who understands that we are all flawed will offer forgiveness for that wrongdoing, lest he/she be claimed a hypocrite.**

**To Toni America - I am pleased you enjoy. While it is unknown for canon purposes, it is generally assumed that Chrysalis is aged, at least as much as the two diarchs of Equestria (Celestia and Luna). With that longevity comes memories, wisdom, and regrets. I believe that anyone seeking redemption from their marred past is going to come across plenty of troubles, but if it were easy, it wouldn't be worth it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters associated with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, nor the original story.**

* * *

Chapter 6: Mending

Over the next week or so I was given therapy by Redheart and Twilight ‒ Redheart taking care of the physical part, and Twilight making sure my magic was at peak performance. Needless to say it was arduous, painful, and many times I was convinced they were trying to kill me, but the therapy did its work and made sure my extended stay in the hospital did not cause me to waste away.

Princess Celestia visited often, speaking with me about the past few years of my life and asking other questions regarding my race, but she was not hostile, merely concerned. Her stoic demeanor held firm for days until she finally let it drop, most likely because she was concerned for the wellbeing of her student...which I completely understood. Twilight was far more powerful than a "normal" unicorn and had one of the best mentors anypony could ever ask for, but even so, she was _still_ mortal and a bit naive at times. After the first few visits from the sun princess, it was clear she loved Twilight like a daughter, and even told me so in one of our more candid conversations. I found it strange that the princess, while technically not a friend, was rather kind and friendly. She hid nothing from me if I asked, and so long as I didn't snap at her or anything of the sort, she always regarded me with a warm smile.

It was...weird.

Not to be outdone was Spike, who apologized profusely over and over again for attempting to barbeque me. When I thought about it, he really was a sweet dragon. He was a good friend as well, and loyal to his surrogate sister to the ends of time. It was a loyalty I saw so rarely and prized so highly. Being what I was meant that loyalty would forever be hard to come by. After all, the Hive had deserted me...even when I had a personal hoof in creating most of them. It saddened me that my own children had rebelled against me...but I could not fault them. Changeling society was never big on "family connections" in the way that ponies knew them, so it was likely that none of them even thought about it that way.

Thankfully, Twilight was around whenever she could be. She had a library to run, as well as a teenaged dragon to keep occupied, but whenever she had a free moment, she was spending it with me. As the days passed, I began to understand her more and more...not only as a friend, but as a pony. I had always thought it strange that of all things, _Magic_ was the binding Element of Harmony ‒ the one that held the six of them together.

Now, I saw why.

Twilight was not an extreme of any one of the Elements...she was the balance of all of them. Kindness, Generosity, Laughter, Loyalty, Honesty...it truly _was_ magic. She was the harmony of what a pony _should_ be. It would be foolish to expect a pony to _always_ be kind, or loyal, or any of the other attributes. After all, that would be asking for perfection, and no matter how powerful or how amazing Twilight was, she was _not_ perfect. Instead, she showed that even with the less-than-desirable attributes like selfishness, dishonesty, cruelty, and the like, she had the power to turn against them...to _be_ the definition of Harmony. It was something I sometimes felt myself being jealous of, but over time, I had come to learn that I too had the ability to be that...to be harmonious in life.

* * *

Today was the day of my release, and while it had been a mere eight days of consciousness, it felt like an _eternity_. The restoration therapy had been draining physically, emotionally, and mentally, but it had done its work. I walked out of the hospital on my own hooves...or at least, Mist Ray did. I knew without a doubt that I would soon have to reveal who I was to my friends, as it was unlikely Twilight would be able to explain why both Starshine and Mist Ray disappeared, both for a month and both at the exact same time.

I just hoped that none of them could secretly breathe fire.

As I trotted of my own accord out of the hospital doors though, I could not help but let a happy smile grace my face. Many times during my days of therapy, I had questioned Twilight and Redheart's methods, but now the fruits of our labor were clear as I stepped out into the late afternoon light on my own hooves. Twilight was by my side as I looked over the body of Mist Ray, to make sure that everything was in order.

"You're going to have to tell them, you know." Twilight stated sullenly, obviously just as nervous as me.

I nodded in confirmation. "I know. Even Rainbow Dash is smart enough to figure out the connection between two of her friends disappearing at the exact same time." I then turned my eyes to her and asked, "What did you tell them? About why you were at the hospital so often, I mean."

She shrugged. "That Mist Ray had gotten struck by lightning, and I wanted to make sure she was okay."

I shrugged as well with a grin. "Close enough to the truth." I then stopped as we left the hospital grounds, and placed my hoof on Twilight's shoulder to cease her walking as well. "Twilight, wait...I need to say something."

She halted her advance and did as I asked, her bright amethyst eyes shining in the light of the setting sun. "Yes Chryssie?"

I loved that nickname...

I smiled gently at her as I moved forward, and pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you...thank you for being here for me...thank you for keeping me from doing something _really_ stupid that day."

I didn't have to say more...she knew exactly what I was referring to. Her arms slowly snaked around my form as she stood, and she also embraced me tightly. "It's okay, Chryssie...you're welcome. You're _always_ welcome."

'_Tell her how you feel...'_

"And I'm sorry..." I voiced softly, a part of me hoping she hadn't heard.

She had.

The soft violet unicorn pulled away from me with a shake of her head. "Why are _you_ apologizing to _me_? _I_ should be the one apologizing for dropping you in the library with Spike like that."

I sighed and shook my head. "No...I am apologizing for how I treated you the last time you and I spent time together."

She was silent for a moment before letting out a barely audible, "Yeah...I know."

I planted my rump on the ground as I continued. "I was...afraid, and...and..."

"Misguided..." Twilight offered dryly.

I glared at her a bit, but conceded defeat with a nod. "Your mentor helped me to see what really mattered."

"You always wondered why I respect her so much...well, things like that is why." she replied with a small smile.

"She's much wiser than I gave her credit for." I admitted.

Twilight grinned and rolled her eyes. "She's only been around for over four thousand years. Who'da thunk?"

"Anyway," I shot back with a glare, my expression then softening into a smile, "she helped me to see that atoning for my sins will be a lifelong endeavor...but that does not mean I can't enjoy happiness...or companionship."

"You know," the lavender unicorn began with a sigh, "I swear I told you pretty much that _exact_ thing a few months ago."

I shrugged. "Perhaps I wasn't listening at the time." Even though the atmosphere was joking and light, I still needed to make my guilt known, so I sighed and added, "I reacted hastily, Twilight...and I'm sorry. This is all still new to me."

She grinned and shrugged back at me, replying in a soft tone, "It's new to me too, Chryssie. You're the first pony I've ever cared about this way. Sometimes I get scared, wondering if I'm going to wake up one day and find all of this has been just one long dream. Worse, sometimes I worry that one day you'll just be gone..." Her voice trailed off as a few tears slipped from her eyes, her head lowering a bit.

Taking knowledge from a memory of mine, I knew that making a promise to always be around would not comfort her. Her intensely analytical mind would argue that the future is unwritten, and unknown forces could change such a promise. However, there was one thing I _could_ say...a truth as much as a comforting gesture, and one that I meant with all of my heart.

"Twilight," I began, tilting her chin up with a hoof, "I want you to listen to me." She nodded, and I continued calmly. "I can't promise you that I'll always be here...we both know that the future is unpredictable. I also can't promise that we'll always be friends, because that too, is unforeseeable." I let loose a soft sigh as I prepared to lay my thoughts and emotions bare before her. "However, what I _can_ say is that right now, at _this_ moment, there is nowhere I'd rather be...and no friend I'd rather have. Circumstances or even the world itself may attempt to pull me away from you and this place, but I will be _damned_ if I will give in without a fight." The slight twinkle in her eyes as I spoke caused me to smile, and a warmth filled my chest as I finished strongly. "My home is worth fighting for, this new life and my new friends are worth fighting for..." I then punctuated my statement by poking a hoof softly at her chest, "_you_ are worth fighting for."

I watched as a smile spread across her face, and she nodded. "Thank you, Chryssie. That means a lot to me." The smile then brightened and she stood up straight. "So, now that you're out of the hospital, I think we should do something fun. What do you want to do?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Gather the Elements...they all need an explanation."

Twilight's ears fell as she began to worry. "But-"

I shook my head. "I want to get this over and done with as soon as possible. I have lied to all of them for far too long, and I will not do so any longer. I will not reveal who I am to the town yet, but I believe those that I consider my friends have a right to know."

"If you're sure..." she whispered.

I nodded. "I am. Redemption must start with honesty, and I have been dishonest with those I care about for far too long already."

Twilight still looked unsure, but nodded. "Alright then. Wait at the library with Spike...I'm sure he has a few apologies waiting for you. I'll go get the girls and we'll all meet you there in a bit."

I again nodded and smiled before the two of us separated.

* * *

"For the last time Spike, I forgive you." I stated in an exasperated tone.

The dragon nodded, but still persisted. "I know but...I mean I _set you on fire_!"

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "It's not the worst that's happened to me, and I don't fault you for it. You were surprised, you thought I was going to take over Ponyville, or you thought I was enslaving Twilight...whatever the case, you're forgiven. So, for the love of all that is good in the world, please stop apologizing."

"Well alright." he conceded finally, but then perked up as he noticed my empty teacup. "Can I get you some more tea then?"

I couldn't help but chuckle a bit as I felt the warm liquid slosh within me. "I think if I have any more tea, I'll just become a water balloon."

Thankfully before Spike could attempt to further atone for his perceived wrongdoing, the door opened to reveal Twilight, along with the other five Elements.

'_Moment of truth...'_

"...I swear Twilight, if this is a joke after all this time, I'm going to have it rain on your library for a _month_!" I heard Rainbow Dash threaten. The cyan pegasus stopped speaking when she saw me, and she rushed over and began inspecting me with a critical eye.

I chuckled nervously and shifted a bit on my hooves. "Umm, hey Dash."

She stopped circling me and finally looked me in the eye before embracing me tightly, an act I _never_ thought I would see...or feel.

She held me tightly for a few moments before letting loose a deep, shuddering sigh. "For Celestia's sake...don't _ever_ scare me like that again." The rainbow-maned pegasus then tapped me hard on the chest and glared at me as she pulled away. "I _told_ you to avoid those thunderheads, didn't I?"

I grinned nervously and nodded. "Hehe...yeah." I then caught eyes with Twilight, and noticed the cautious look she had in her eye.

It was time.

"Girls," I began, switching to a way of speech that didn't fit Mist Ray's normal demeanor, "I have something I have to tell all of you...something kinda crazy."

"Well what is it, darling? We've all been very worried about you, so I'm sure whatever it is will be of no consequence." Rarity assured.

"Oh, it's of _huge_ consequence, Rarity." I replied softly. I then looked to the lavender unicorn and nodded. "Go ahead, Twilight."

As planned, she cast a spell that sealed the entire library. All of the doors and windows were closed and locked, and the windows themselves were coated in her aura, making them shatterproof.

The five ponies all looked very nervous all of the sudden, and Applejack asked, "Uh, Twi? Ah know yer mah friend and all, but y'all are makin' me more nervous than a timberwolf at a bonfire."

"It was a precautionary measure, girls...I'm sorry." Twilight replied with a blank face. She then looked to me and nodded. "All set."

I sighed and looked to the gathered Element-bearers and asked, "What if I told all of you that I'm not who you think I am? That...that Mist Ray, Starshine, and Mosshoof don't exist?"

"Well I'd say you're crazy." Rainbow Dash argued as she sat on her haunches and crossed her hooves. "You're the best lightning-wrangler I've ever seen, Mist. You gotta be real to move clouds around."

I nodded. "You are correct. I am real...but Mist Ray is not. I made her, as well as the other two."

The orange farmpony looked at me curiously and asked, "Whaddaya mean? Ah ain't got a clue what yer talkin' about."

I looked to Twilight, and she said, "Just show them. Simple and direct is probably best."

Rainbow Dash noticed her friend Fluttershy seemingly shrinking more and more as this went on, and she glared at both of us as she embraced the yellow pegasus. "Twi, you're freaking 'Shy out here. You better have a darn good reason for it."

I lowered my head in shame, unable to look them in the eyes for what I was about to do. "I'm so sorry I lied to you all. I hope that one day, you may find it within you to forgive me for what I've done."

"Now Ah don' rightly know what yer blabbin' about, but even if ya lied, Ah ain't gonna hate ya for it." Applejack assured.

I chuckled darkly. "You won't be saying that in a moment."

With the atmosphere already tense, I chose not to drag it out any more. I let the ancient magic of my people flow through me, casting off the disguise I'd worked so hard on for so long. I felt as the deep reservoir of my magic flowed throughout my body, leaving a tingling, warming sensation in its wake. I closed my eyes and willed my true form to come forth, and held my breath.

Fluttershy was the first to react as the change worked its way around my body, her soft gasp and whimpering impossible to mistake. Next was Rarity, who quietly pleaded to Applejack to "save her". Rainbow Dash let out a very unusual squeak of surprise, while Pinkie giggled...because she can, I suppose.

I opened my eyes and looked upon my friends, finding two of them shaking in fear, two of them prepared to defend themselves, and Pinkie was pointing and laughing.

"Wow, that's a _good_ one! I had _no_ idea!" Pinkie exclaimed through giggles.

Rainbow Dash snorted angrily at me as she lowered her stance, ready to pounce. "Queen Chrysalis...what the _hay_ are you doing here?"

"I'm not a queen anymore, Rainbow Dash." I replied blandly. "I haven't been since shortly after the assault on Canterlot."

"Answer tha question, _changeling_." the farmpony spat, her words dripping venom and malicious intent.

Her words stung. In the recesses of my mind, I knew it wasn't her fault...my form would likely _always_ cause such a response from ponies. Still, at the forefront of who I was at the moment was my heart, and it hurt to hear such anger from my friend.

Thankfully, someone came to my rescue.

"Girls, stop." Twilight commanded, her voice gentle, and yet firm. She then calmly cantered over and stood in between us, using her own body as a barrier. She then motioned her head to me and said, "This is our friend. True that her name isn't really Mist Ray, Starshine, or Mosshoof, but that doesn't change who she is."

Rainbow Dash growled and flared her wings. "She's got Twi under a spell!"

"No no!" Spike shouted from behind me, before also taking place next to Twilight, in front of me. He shook his head as he pointed a clawed finger at me. "I thought so too, but it's not true. Twilight's immune to changeling magic now. I don't know how, but it's true."

"I really was in the hospital for over a month, but not because of lightning." I added, scuffing my hooves a bit as I sat down. "It would take _much_ more than a single bolt of lightning to do _me_ in." I gestured towards the teenage dragon with a holed hoof. "Spike actually set me on fire because he thought the same thing all of you are at the moment...that I'd placed Twilight under a spell."

Rainbow Dash's head shot up as she looked at the violet dragon. "W-wait, really?"

Spike bowed his head softly and chuckled. "Y-yeah. I kinda freaked out a little bit."

"Wait just a apple-buckin' minute," Applejack growled, still keeping a fierce gaze with me, "how do Ah know y'all ain't just makin' this up?"

"Twilight may be immune to my magic, but the five of you are not." I explained dryly. "Had I wanted to _make_ you think or believe something, I could do it. The fact that I am _not_ doing that speaks for itself, I believe." I shook my head with a sigh. "I did this because I don't want to hide anymore. I consider all of you dear friends, and you have no idea how hard it's been to keep lying to you every day."

Rarity finally stood, still wary, but willing to look me in the eye. "Then why do it, darling?"

I snorted in annoyance and gestured to my black carapace. "Look at me...what would you have done had you known who and what I was?"

The alabaster unicorn clicked her tongue and nodded. "Ah...good point."

"W-what would the princesses s-say about this?" Fluttershy questioned carefully, still hiding behind the white unicorn.

"They both already know." Twilight answered plainly. "In fact, Celestia made visits pretty often, talking to Chrysalis and keeping her company. She's careful, but doesn't hold a grudge for what happened those years ago."

"Ah noticed ya don' call 'er 'queen' anymore." the orange mare observed.

I nodded. "After the failed attack on Canterlot the Hive birthed and raised a new queen, and abandoned me in the wilds of the Everfree."

Twilight sighed and added, "As per changeling society, there is actually a standing order to kill her on sight if they see her."

"Well that is absolutely dreadful!" Rarity exclaimed in shock.

I shrugged. "Ponies and changelings have evolved quite differently. As I am sure Fluttershy knows, predators often act quite differently when compared to herbivores." I tapped my hoof against my long fangs. "These aren't just for show, after all. And before you ask, no...I don't eat ponies."

A collective sigh of relief sounded from the five gathered ponies, while Twilight smirked at me. "What's the matter, we're not tasty enough for you?"

I shrugged, also displaying a smirk. "I prefer my food to not talk back to me, thank you." I then licked my lips as I leaned closer. "Although for you, I might make an exception."

Twilight giggled and shoved me before looking back to her friends. "Girls, just because she's a changeling doesn't mean she's different from who we know. She's still our friend, and the reason she did this was because she wants to be honest with all of you, and herself. She was trusting that all of you were good enough friends with her that you could overcome this...and I believe that too. So please, prove us right."

For long moments, all was quiet in the common room of the library, save for the sounds of whispers as the five mares discussed my fate with them, along with an occasionally loud declaration from Pinkie Pie...usually about how I was fun or that I needed to have a party. The fact that they were all conversing this long, however, gave me hope, so I waited patiently for judgement to be passed.

"At least they're talking." Twilight murmured. "It's better than nothing."

"I do detest that phrase." I stated glumly. "One only says that something is 'better than nothing' during situations such as this, when the favorable result seems to be slipping away."

Twilight rolled her eyes as she shifted back to stand beside me. "Have a little more faith in them, Chryssie."

After a few more minutes, the five other Elements broke apart and stood before us...even Fluttershy did so with a determined expression.

Rarity cleared her throat and stepped forward. "First, we wish to apologize for how we reacted. Perhaps we should have analyzed the situation a little more completely instead of jumping to conclusions." The white unicorn then sighed. "That being said, you must understand our caution towards you. The six of us were personally attacked by changelings, and we were forced to watch as the capital of our land was overrun by an invading force that you commanded. Furthermore, you personally had a hoof in attacking and wounding Princess Celestia herself."

I nodded. "I understand."

"Still," Applejack began, relaxing a bit, "y'all are bein' honest now...so that counts fer somethin'. Ah figure it ain't easy bein' what ya are, so iffin' y'all are trustin' us enough ta show us who ya really are, we owe ya a chance ta prove yerself."

"But we'll be keepin' an eye on you." Rainbow Dash threatened, though I could tell she was very conflicted. The cyan pegasus then made her way to me and tapped me on the forearm. "And don't be late to work..."

"We must be going, but I would wish to keep our tea time, if you would be so kind." Rarity announced.

I smiled and nodded. "I would not miss it for the world."

The other four left, leaving only Twilight and Pinkie as the only Elements in the room. The pink mare seemed a little nervous as she sat oddly still, and she kept darting her eyes around the room.

"Now?" Pinkie asked the lavender unicorn.

Twilight sighed and nodded. "Okay, now."

The earth pony then shot up into the air with a huge gasp of air as quite possibly the brightest smile I'd ever seen slapped itself on her face. "WOWIE!" The mare then landed on the ground a second later and began hopping happily around me. "A real changeling queen! Oooh, and she's _so_ pretty!"

I raised my brow in confusion. "Pretty? I must still be in disguise, because I fail to see how a changeling would _ever_ be counted as 'pretty'."

Pinkie stopped bouncing and looked at me as if I were crazy. "What are you talking about? I mean, have you _looked_ at yourself? Your...umm..." She pointed to my body.

"Carapace?" I offered in confusion.

"Yeah, that!" she said with a smile. "It's so shiny, and smooth...like those shiny black rocks that volcanoes make...umm..."

"Obsidian, Pinkie." Twilight answered. "And I'm pleasantly surprised you know what that is."

The pink mare rolled her eyes with a giggle. "I used to be a rock farmer, Twilight."

The lavender unicorn smiled sheepishly. "Oh, right."

The earth pony walked around slower this time, and frowned. "Wait, don't you usually have wings?"

I smirked and moved the chitin from my back, causing my translucent, diaphanous wings to emerge. I gave them a few flaps to fully extend them, and then stood stock still for inspection.

"Oooh...it's like a butterfly's wings!" Pinkie exclaimed.

I looked back at my flight appendages and nodded. "I suppose they are, though it is the first time I have heard that from a pony." I then allowed myself a smile. "I must admit, I am rather pleased that you do not shun me for what I am, Pinkie Pie."

Pinkie smiled wide and shook her head. "You were a meanie-pants when you tried to take over the world and everything, but if Twilight thinks you're okay, then I think that's worth something. Besides, I didn't get any bad feelings from you, so I don't think you're mean anymore."

"Bad feelings?" I questioned in confusion.

The pony giggled and nodded. "Yeah! Y'know, bad feelings. Like it didn't get all cold when we saw you, my hair didn't stand on end or anything, and there wasn't any weird music playing in the background!"

I looked to Twilight for help, but she just shook her head. "It's Pinkie. Don't try and figure it out...you'll just end up with a headache, and more confused than when you started."

I shrugged. "Works for me." I then turned my eyes to the pink pony and smiled. "Well I appreciate your acceptance. Perhaps, when this all calms down, you could organize a party for Mist Ray?"

Pinkie Pie nodded furiously. "That's a _great_ idea! I never had a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party for any of your...well, you's. Twilight told me they were really recl- reclas- recluorif..."

"Reclusive." Twilight corrected with a giggle.

"Yeah, that!" the party pony exclaimed. She began bouncing away before calling over her shoulder, "Let me look at my schedule, and I'll be back to tell you more when I have a better idea of when I'll be free for one. Be ready soon!"

I nodded as the mare left, leaving only Twilight, myself, and Spike remaining.

"So...anyone hungry?" the dragon asked, which was answered by all three of our stomachs answering the call. He chuckled and began to walk away. "I'll whip something light up for us then."

The unicorn by my side looked pleadingly at me. "Not to say I'm not okay with you being a changeling, because I am, but for safety reasons, you might want to change back into Mist Ray at least...can't risk a pony walking in and seeing you just yet."

I smiled and nodded, quickly changing my form before looking Twilight in the eyes. "Only for you, my friend."

The unicorn said nothing, but offered a grateful smile.

* * *

The day came to an end, and I found myself within my own home up in the clouds. Thankfully, I was clean by nature, so there was not much to tidy up, even with the home being deserted for nearly a month and a half. Still, I did a quick run-through of my home to be sure that all was in order and that no structural flaws of the home itself had sprung up. To my relief, all was well, and so I quickly cleaned myself and headed to the wonderful cloud bed I had missed so much.

As I collapsed upon my bed with a soft *poof*, I allowed my wings to stretch out and for the comfort to take me. It was a novel feeling as a whole, because for the first time in my life, things seemed to be taking an unprecedented positive direction. The princesses knew who and what I was, and yet had chosen to place their trust in Twilight on the matter. My friends were wary, but did not outright shun me...which considering the situation, was wonderful. I had healed nearly completely from my injuries, leaving only a few scarred areas of my carapace visible. And last, but certainly not least, I had forgiven myself to a degree, allowing the budding bond I felt with Twilight to begin to grow further.

Twilight had been patient and understanding with me, though after getting to know who her mentor was, I understood where she learned such traits from. Truth be told, it was one of the things I had come to treasure the most about the young unicorn. She judged me not by my past deeds or my physical form, but by the quality of my character. The unicorn had come to care for me deeply on a level I had never experienced before, so I assumed I must be redeeming myself well. While it was true that emotional attachment was nothing new to me, this would make the first time a living thing was affectionate towards _me_...towards Chrysalis. Where once I had fled from the idea, I now relished it.

Twilight...

I saw great potential for the two of us. She was unnervingly intelligent and wise, well beyond the common capabilities of one her age. Had I not known better, I would have assumed she was much older for the wisdom she possessed...and yet she was barely a few months over twenty. Her youth compiled with her wisdom, power, and understanding made for a formidable foe to enemies, but a stalwart and fiercely loyal friend for me and others she cared for.

Like many other times, the unicorn's face dominated my mind's eye, but I no longer shied away from it. Instead, I allowed thoughts and visions of her fill me, causing a pleasant warmth to spread through my stomach, along with the sensation of what felt like fluttering within my belly. It was true affection I felt for Twilight, and I no longer had to hide it from myself.

As sleep began to drag me into its warm embrace, I realized that I had been foolish for running for so long. Another truth had been uncovered in my heart, and it was one I felt with my entire being as I spoke it aloud.

"I think I love you, Twilight."


End file.
